Random Thursday: Favorite Movie Quotes and Windfalls

I received a check today for a biographical monologue I did for a cemetery walk that will take place around Halloween.  I wasn’t expecting to be paid at all—I said I’d do it for free—so I’ve decided to share my unexpected windfall.*

 Help me celebrate the writers of our favorite movie lines—okay, my favorite movie lines—and those actors who make us love them by participating in the

 First  Ever Random Thursday Contest!

 There are fifteen numbered quotes throughout this post.  In the comments, tell me which movies they’re from.  You will be awarded one point per correct answer.

An extra point will be given if you supply the character(s) or actor(s) who said  the line(s).

 The person with the most points will receive a $25.00 Amazon gift card, because a remarkable number of you live in a different hemisphere, and the postal fees are a killer.**

In the event of a tie, names will be put in Sunny’s favorite Dora the Explorer hat and the winner will be chosen by Janie.

Standard disclaimers apply.  These quotes have been confirmed to the best of my ability, and I will not debate the accuracy of the wording or punctuation until the answers are posted—my blog, my rules.   Mrs. P. and Kev the Earworm King are requested not to participate, as they supplied their favorite quotes this morning.***  Hey!  An extra point each, if you can guess which ones they provided.

Entries will be accepted until Friday at midnight, EST. 

The name of the winner, and the answers, will be posted Sunday-ish.

If you have questions, e-mail ’em to me.  But again, I’m not arguing about the precision of the quotes.

_________________________

1. 

 I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to god!

oooooOOOOOooooo

 2. 

Funny Pictures - Sparta Birds

oooooOOOOOooooo

3.

I would say so far, adulthood gets a three.

oooooOOOOOooooo

4.

“I feel sorry for men who don’t knit—they lead empty lives.”

oooooOOOOOooooo

5. 

Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not ‘every man for himself.’ And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked ’em up.

oooooOOOOOooooo

oooooOOOOOooooo

6. 

This is Killian.  Get me the Justice Department: Entertainment Division. No, hold that. Operator, get me the President’s agent.

oooooOOOOOooooo

7. 

I want . . . a Winnebago.

oooooOOOOOooooo

8. 

My foot! My only foot!

oooooOOOOOooooo

Janie wants me to take her to the Smurf movie.

I’m not sure.

When I was her age, I loved the Smurfs.  I did.  I had Smurf dolls, Smurf figures, Smurf shirts, Smurf pillowcases, the whole Smurfing works . . . until one day, I was watching the episode where Gargamel fails to capture the Smurfs—you remember that one, right?  Fourth season?—and realized that the simplistic narrative structure just wasn’t doing it for me any more^ and the word smurf was beginning to irritate the $#!% out of me.

 In fact, my years as Fangirl Smurf are, in retrospect, slightly embarrassing.

On the other hand, I can count on one hitchhiking hand the number of times Jane has asked me to take her to the movie theater.  She likes to wander, leaving at any hint of danger or a character doing something that might get them into trouble—which pretty much scraps everything on offer from Hollywood.^^

But she’s much better at live action stuff than cartoons.  She’s seen plays and knows about actors and acting, but even though I’ve shown her photographs and clips of voice actors, there’s something about cartoons that hits her in a way real people don’t.

So maybe we’ll give it the good ol’ Smurfing try.

Ugh.

oooooOOOOOooooo

9. 

It makes no logical sense! Why is this here?!

Because it’s on the show!

Well, forget it! I’m not doing it! This episode was badly written!

oooooOOOOOooooo

10. 

“When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.”

oooooOOOOOooooo

11. 

Sarah’s favorite John Wayne quote:^^^

Did you hurt your . . . self?

oooooOOOOOooooo

12. 

“I’ve buried a husband, I’ve raised two daughters. I’ve made my coffee.”

oooooOOOOOooooo

13.

I thought you were never going to say it.
Say what?
That you love me.
I said I’d arrest you.
It means the same thing, you know that.

oooooOOOOOooooo

14.

“Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?”

oooooOOOOOooooo

15. 

You know . . . For kids!

_________________________

*Holy Crows—does anyone remember the windfall fortune cookie?  Was this it?        

** The person with the least amount of points gets a .pdf  file of my unedited second drawer novel, Daughter of, which is set in a dystopian future where military-trained librarians are paid only slightly less than junior high school teachers, but have better weaponry.  No, wait, come back!  I’m kidding!  I wouldn’t do that to anyone who chooses to enter this contest.  Though the rest of you might want to watch out . . .

***And Mrs. P. says hello back to Sarah Pearson and Downith, though she did ask me if I made you up.  It turns out, she doesn’t have an e-mail address and isn’t about to get one just to tell me what she thinks—that’s what she comes to the library for.

^And if Smurfette wasn’t gonna marry Handy, then I wasn’t interested.

^^She hid behind me for more than half of Tangled, and still can’t watch it all the way through on DVD—and we shall not speak of Piglet’s Heffalump Movie.

^^^No, you get no extra points for telling me John Wayne said it.

Angry birds courtesy of You Know Who.