Six Sentence Sunday: Another Introduction

Six Sentence Sunday is open to all writers. Just pick a six sentence passage from anything you’ve written—published, unpublished, whatever—and post it on your blog on Sunday.

Registration for the upcoming Sunday list opens the previous Tuesday evening at 5pm CST. More information is here.

Check out all the talent!

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Last week, David McRae, a character from my current WIP shared six sentences about his former partner, Judith.  I was going to back up and describe him through her eyes, but I realized that what he’s thinking describes him far better than what he looks like.*

She’d taken off the cardigan, and it was obvious that some things had remained the same—her arms were as well-muscled as ever and the clinging material of her sleeveless top skimmed contours that were a perfect combination of nature and regular training.  He’d never seriously thought about Jayce as a potential playmate—with one regrettable exception, he’d never risked a workplace romance—but he’d have to be dead not to admire the craftsmanship. 

His gaze lit on the puckered scars on her shoulder and for a moment, he was back in the hospital in his funeral suit, listening to her breathe through a tube.   He had no right to ask her for anything—not after three years of guilty silence.  A decent person wouldn’t even try.

“Does my time start now?” he asked.

__________________________

*Although she does mention that the world doesn’t know how lucky it was the man hadn’t been issued dimples.  I’m just sayin’

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11 thoughts on “Six Sentence Sunday: Another Introduction

  1. Oh, yeah. He’s fighting a serious attraction and struggling with his conscience, to boot. I agree, you gave us a real good glimpse into the hero in this snippet. Great six!

  2. I love the second bunch of sentences here. I don’t remember him recalling her breathing through a tube, but that’s an excellent detail. It says so much–as does him noting a decent person wouldn’t ask, but he still plans, too. So much going on with McRae–love it, as usual.

  3. Loved your description of the puckered scars on her shoulder. Nice detail that hints at some past pain perhaps?

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