Six Sentence Sunday is open to all writers. Just pick a six sentence passage from anything you’ve written—published, unpublished, whatever—and post it on your blog on Sunday.
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This passage is a chapter or so ahead from the last six. I’d tell you that I’m skipping over so much because I don’t want to give the whole plot away, but to be honest, I seem to have used a lot of short sentences in this story, and it’s tough to find a passage that isn’t twelve words long.
I should probably look into that. But in the meantime, here are six slightly longer sentences that, as it turns out, sort of outlines the plot anyway. Oh well . . .
The voices woke me from a dream of my mother, reading to me.
The book in her hands had been the Wind in the Willows, but the story she told was more complicated—Rat and Mole and Toad were on the Moon, where very Bad Things were happening. The Stoats were trying to pull a fast one, and there was no time, and the Badger wouldn’t listen without forms filed in triplicate. I was too young, in the dream, to understand, because it wasn’t my birthday yet, but I tried very hard, so hard I woke myself up.
Five seconds later, the only thing I clearly recalled was the sight of tears running down my mother’s face, a frightening, confusing image.
Mommy never cried—Mommy was a hero.
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First ♦ Second ♦ Third ♦ Fourth ♦ Fifth ♦ Sixth
Seventh ♦ Eighth ♦ Ninth ♦ Tenth ♦ Eleventh ♦ Twelfth ♦ Thirteenth
Fourteenth ♦ Fifteenth ♦ Sixteenth ♦ Seventeenth
Eighteenth ♦ Nineteenth ♦ Twentieth ♦ Twenty-first ♦ Twenty-second
Twenty-third ♦ Twenty-fourth ♦ Twenty-fifth ♦ Twenty-sixth
Twenty-seventh ♦ Twenty-eighth ♦ Twenty-nine ♦ Thirty
Thirty-one ♦ Thirty-second ♦ Thirty-third ♦ Thirty-fourth ♦ Thirty-fifth
Thirty-sixth
So much revealed in this six. Well done! 🙂
Thanks, Jessica!
Wow. I’ve had a dream like that. I was taking an English quiz…and the questions were really stupid. My brain was trying so hard to answer the questions, I woke up with a headache. :p Anyhow, I love the last line of this six. It puts you into the mind frame of a child. great job!
Thanks, Wendy!
When I have school dreams, it’s usually one of those, “It’s the final exam and I haven’t been to this class all year!” nightmares. . .
I have that dream too.
Intriguing six – and I’m sure there’s some real significance in that dream.
Thanks, Paula. Yeah, I was practicing my foreshadowing at the time (it did get better, I promise) 🙂 .
So poignant.
It is hard to pick six. Some of the best passages are very short sentences, that often take a few more than six to really convey what’s happening. I run into that all the time.
Thank you, Cara.
I find it so difficult to stop at six, sometimes. But I guess that’s part of the fun (most of the time).
That just grabs you and drags you right into the story. Lovely and intriguing at the same time. Great six!!
Thanks! I’m glad it worked!
Nice one. Really enjoyed it.
Thank you, Callie. Your six made me laugh!
Great tone for this scene Sarah!
Thanks, Angela. I’m never sure about the sad bits—I always think I overdo them.
Very intriguing six. I love dream scenes.
Thanks, Carrie-Anne—I think they’re a risk sometimes . . . or maybe just when I try them? 🙂
That was a very good dream scene. Not only does it make sense from a dream perspective, but it adds to/underscores the story as well.
Does it? Thank you! I’m glad you think it works!
I have that same problem with Countdown. Lots of dialogue with short sentences. Apparently, everyone I write likes to keep it simple. This is a great excerpt to choose, though. It says so much and gives a great look into the emotional turmoil that has plagued her for a long time…and where it stems from.
Thanks, Lisa. It’s like a little outline, really.
(I’m loving Nation, by the way—sorry it’s taking me so long!)
If this is the outline, I can’t imagined how engaging the completed version would be. (I’m super glad to hear you’re enjoying Nation–was a little worried about the additions. Take your time! I’m in no rush.)
That packs a lot into a short segment. I’m a fan of short sentences, for what it’s worth.
It’s worth a lot, I think, Lisa
Six Sentence Sundays tend to make run-on writers of us all!
That last line gave me chills. Nice.
Thanks, Mike!
Yes. Can I keep reading now, please?
Say the word, Sherry, and I’ll e-mail the whole thing over. But more is coming next week, if you’d rather not.