Stuff My Kids Said*: Kisses and Canine Rituals

funny pictures history - Rad Kids are Rad

This past Sunday, it was announced that our church is having a blessing of the animals service later this month and all furry, scaled, and feathered family members were invited to “partake of the sacramental blessing.”

My kids were hoping that they could take Watson’s Jada Mae Swissie Dog instead of a photo of our venerable cat Toby.**

When we arrived home, I sent Janie downstairs to ask my MIL and Watson what they wanted for lunch.

A few minutes later, Watson came upstairs with a strange expression and said, “Do you know what your older daughter just said to me?”

I covered my eyes.  “Hit me.”

“She said, ‘I have two questions:  One, where do you and grandma want to go for lunch?*** And two, can Sunny and I take your dog to church and sacrifice her?'”


Sunny is a huggybug, but she’s very persnickety about kisses, preferring to receive dry butterfly ones to her cheek and wiping off most of them with a sleeve and an offended little nose wrinkle.

Last night, when I kissed her goodnight as dryly as I could and she said, “MOM-meee! Yuck,” and immediately scrubbed it away with the cuff of her pink princess monkey jammies.

So, naturally,  I did what any other loving mother would do.

“You think that one was bad?” I said, pouncing and delivering  several loud, smacking smooches all over her little face, ignoring the squeals and giggles.

“There,” I said and went over to kiss Janie.

“Don’t worry,” I told her.  “You’ve been a pretty good kid today, so you only get one.”

“I don’t mind, Mom,” she said.  “I don’t think your kisses are yucky.”

There was a pause.

“I got more,” said Sunny.

“What?  You don’t even like them,” I said.

“Well . . . I still got more than she did.”‘



*Sorry, Laura—I couldn’t resist.

** Who isn’t a particularly mellow animal when he’s taken out of his home environment—and this about blessings, not exorcisms.

***Please note that my original question about lunch didn’t imply a restaurant setting.  Please further note that the question my child actually asked did.  That the answer to that question netted me my Fortune Cookie Breakfast the next day has no bearing on this matter.