About three in the afternoon, after Sunny has returned from a costume-themed birthday party and has worked off a truly epic Hulk-colored cupcake by bouncing off the walls like a chocolate powered gas-molecule in a Supergirl costume:
“Mommy? I want a made up story tonight for bedtime.”
“All right. Thanks for telling me and please stop jumping on the couch. What should the story be about?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Okay, tell me when you do and put Toby down, please, honey. Cats don’t like to pretend to fly.”
“Like elephants?”
” . . . Sure.”
“Oh. Sorry, Toby.”
_________
Four hours later:
“I want a made-up story, Mommy, remember?”
“Sure. You know what you want?”
“Quack and Peep. The episode where they—”
“That’s not a made up story. That’s telling a tv show.”
“Oh. Then can I have a superhero story? No, wait—a superhero birthday story!”
“Okay, um . . . Once there was a superhero called Super Sunny. She was five years old—”
“Five and a half.”
“Sorry. Five and a half. And she had curly pigtail hair. Super Sunny had been invited to Captain Eamon’s sixth birthday party. She would have flown over but her Mommy drove her instead.”
“Because she didn’t know her kid was a superhero, right?”
“Right. Parents never know. So she gave her present to Captain Eamon, who promised not to look at it with his X-ray vision—”
“What’s that, Mommy?”
(pause for explanation that did not include a discussion of the societal and school rules about the displaying and viewing of underwear until Janie decided to help)
” . . . So, Captain Eamon’s Mommy asked Super Sunny to help with blowing up the balloons while she went inside to decorate the cake—”
“No, cupcakes!”
” —the cupcakes. And since there weren’t any parents around, Super Sunny used her super breath to blow up all the balloons so they floated . . . Did you brush your teeth?”
“Yes. See? <Hwoof>.”
“Okay—ugh, why did I buy you Berry Mint toothpaste? Never mind. All the balloons were up and the rest of the super guests started to arrive. There was BatSophia and Ninja Jack and Optimus Daniel and Spider Tommy and MegaTyler and Bumble-Ryan and . . . uh . . . Jedi Jared, who is Captain Eamon’s big brother. Was that all?”
“Melissa, but she didn’t have a costume.”
“And Melissa, who came in her secret identity. Right?”
“Right! Good one, Mommy!”
“Thanks. So all the super guests played Rescue the Scientists and stick the Bad Guys in the Jail Cell when all of them heard someone calling . . . ?”
“Help, Help!”
“So they all told their parents they had to go potty or get a drink and Jedi Jared said he’d help them, because he’s older. So he led them through the house to the front yard and all the ones who could fly picked up the ones who couldn’t and they all took off to see who was in trouble.”
“And Melissa was very heavy.”
“But Super Sunny is very strong so it worked just fine. And they all saw that a train was rushing towards a bridge over the river—but the middle of the bridge was gone! And the train couldn’t stop!”
“Seriously, Mom? That’s the best you can do?”
“Janie, shush! This is my story. Tell it, Mommy!”
“So Captain Eamon held onto the end of the bridge and Super Sunny grabbed his ankles and BatSophia grabbed hers and so on until they made two lines of superheroes over the gap in the bridge—
“Even Melissa?”
“Yes, because she’s a superhero, too, even without her cape.”
“Then why did I fly her all the way to the bridge?”
“Maybe you were being nice?”
“Or maybe she can’t fly—like BatSophia. Why can’t she fly? She’s a bat.”
“It’s her symbol, honey—she’s not really a bat.”
“Yeah. Bats aren’t pink.”
“Thank you Jane. So. . . all the superheroes held on very, very tight to each other and the wheels of the train rode right over them and everyone was saved.”
“We did it!”
“Yep. And they decided that they had such a good time working together that they’d schedule lots of playdates so they could help more people.”
“Good. I want a playdate with Ninja Jack. He has a Playstation.”
I’ll call his Dad tomorrow. Meanwhile, back at the bridge, Jedi Jared called the police on his cell phone and stayed behind to make sure no one else tried to cross. Everyone else went back to Captain Eamon’s backyard and had cupcakes bigger than their heads.”
“Mine was green!”
“Yes, all the cupcakes were decorated with made up superhero flags, and all the real superheroes thought that was really funny and laughed and laughed and wouldn’t tell their parents why. And they all had a very good time. The End. Good-night, honey.”
“And we saved one for Jedi Jared.”
“Right. The End.”
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you know I’m really a super hero?”
“Yes, but I can keep a secret. Right, Jane?”
“I guess—unless it’s going in the blog.”
“Oh. Whoops.”
“Mooomeee!”
Earful of Cider 