Holiday and/or Everything’s Closed And I’m Bored
A Wesson Christmas Tree Puzzle:
Find the following things:
—a Snowman made out of a paving brick that weighs more than Sunny.
—A half-shredded, tissue-wrapped, school-made gift left to the mercy of the cat
—half a bolt of pink-and-silver fake fur tied with a sequinned ribbon, from my friend Grace to the kids
—The wooden nut basket with two trees on it that we tore the house apart looking for until it showed up in the photograph and someone elbowed someone else, pointed, and said, “Oh, for $%#&’s sake.”
—a gingerbread man ornament with feline teeth marks on one leg
—A small egg-nog stain on a hand-hooked Christmas rug from my MIL’s side of the family (don’t tell her, please)
—The TV remote, because we can’t find it and we know it’s in there somewhere.
—Three copies of The
Worst Best Christmas Pageant Ever
—The replacement tree-topper for the heirloom crystal one that shattered the moment it was gently lifted from its tissue nest and encountered the harsh climatological conditions of our living room
—The cat because we can’t find him, either, but odds are he’s doing something unspeakable behind the tree, possibly to the remote