Tuesday Morning Questions

Overcaffeinated Owl Says WHOOOOOOO

  1. Is French press coffee is just pretentious cowboy coffee with a fancy strainer and no eggshells?
  2. Will anyone notice that I’m wearing dark brown woven slacks and black shoes?  Will they care?  Do I care that no one cares?
  3. When did waiting for other people to exit an elevator before entering it become an optional thing?  Forget common courtesy—it’s common sense, right?
  4. If you clip the feathers of wereduck’s wing, do his fingernails get shorter?
  5. How much is my book budget this fiscal?  How much?  Seriously?
  6. Why couldn’t Helen Mirren have been the next Doctor Who?
  7. Can I use the description “ventiest venti ever brewed” in a story without running afoul of Starbucks’ legal department?
  8. Why do I have three pencils behind my ear?  Why did I only notice this when I tried to add a fourth pencil?
  9. Why does the Admin photocopier always jam when I have a hundred copies to make and ten minutes to make ‘em?
  10. How expensive would were-proof silver handcuffs be?
  11. Where’s the &$*^# public restroom key?
  12. Is there any place nearby that I can get the venteist venti ever brewed?
  13. Did I see a sort of Mongolian death worm plot on CSI a couple years ago when a chef killed a woman with a baby octopus?  Would it seem derivative or like a fresh new twist on fugu poisoning?
  14. Since I had Janie’s leftover oatmeal for breakfast, I deserve something nutritionally bereft for lunch, right?
  15. Does this curl-enhancing mousse make me look like a poodle from the ‘eighties?  Since it takes ten minutes off my morning routine, keeps my bangs out of my eyes, and seems to be humidity proof, do I really care?
  16. How long until lunch?
  17. Why am I not disturbed by the concept of a “fresh new twist on fugu poisoning?”
  18. Does a list of questions count as a blog post?
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19 thoughts on “Tuesday Morning Questions

  1. 18. Yes.
    1. Yes to the average person. No to a purist. A purist would say that the boiling of the water WITH the grounds is very different than letting them cohabitate for exactly 4 minutes.
    4. It depends on how bad you want the consequences to be. Might be interesting that way.
    7. Yes if it’s referring to a Starbucks coffee, no if it’s referring to NovaAntlers coffee on Aldebaran.
    10. Fucking expensive (excuse me), have you seen the price of were-proof metal these days?
    15. Not your Mother’s Kinky Moves Curl Defining Cream, cheap and effective and makes you smell just a tiny bit like jellied candy. This is not exactly a bad thing.

    • 18. Whew!
      1.You have a point . . . though if I were a purist, I wouldn’t use Splenda and flavored, powdered creamer gunk . . .
      4,Hmmm . . .
      7.Are you sure ‘venti’ isn’t proprietary?
      10.Unfortunately . . . wonder if plated stuff would work?
      15.Oooo! Jellied candy! 🙂

  2. #9: your Mercury is most likely in retrograde. Chill for a bit and relax in knowing that the universe will not be overly impacted if a few less copies get copied. Maybe consider waiting for the planets to realign in the best interest of all things mechanical.

    why isn’t werewolf warewolf or wearwolf? were they orginially called wurwolves?

  3. #3. Or park the loaded book truck across the doorway so there is no room for anyone to get on or off?
    #5. Not enough. Not nearly enough. Without a doubt.
    #11. Inside the locked room?

  4. #3 is my main beef with public transit. I mean, how can I get off the train so you can get in if you’re standing TWO INCHES from the door?? And then *I* get the stink-eye . . .

    Anyway, yes, it does count as a post. Lists are our friends–i make lists about the lists i need to make!

    • I remember my aunt telling someone on the subway, “You can’t get on until I get off.” He stepped aside, but he didn’t like it . . .

      Lists are definitely friends, Charley. Couldn’t function without them!

  5. 4. Wereduck? There duck. There castle. Yeah, I know, it was stuck in my head.
    6. Because she’s entirely too busy and probably can’t run like she used to. And there’s quite a lot of running. Well, maybe a little less running, now, but i still expect running.
    14. Of course.
    18. Apparently.

    • 4.You’re forgiven. This time. 😉
      6.A Lady Doctor Who doesn’t need to run darling. The universe comes to them and kneels gratefully for execution or mercy.
      14.Good. ‘Cause that’s what happened.
      18.Sure, it seems obvious now. 😀

  6. 6. Brilliant.
    7. My husband thinks Starbucks is ridiculously pretentious and refuses to say anything regarding their Venti, grande sizing system. Every time we go, he says medium coffee, and every time they say, do you mean grande? It goes on and on. Me, I’ll call it whatever you want if it gets it from your side of the counter to mine.

    • 6. I hoped you’d agree with me! What d’you think of the new guy?
      7.It is pretentious and kind of touchy, too—I asked for a chai latte with a depth charge (an extra shot) and was quizzed on where I’d heard that and who called it that, etc. Sheesh.

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