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This week’s passage took a little more editing that usual—I’ve always taken the opportunity to change things that I note as I search for Sunday snippets, but The bit following last week’s was a mess. It was pedantic, repetitive, and a tad too unethical on Samantha’s part—it’s like she didn’t know any more about the law than I do, for heaven sakes, when she’d better sound like she knows more, or we’re all doomed.
I ended up swapping passages, took out sentences, put in sentences, and tightened my speech taggery.
And then I loaded the scene back into the MS before I pasted eight of those sentences here.
So if anyone thinks that all WeWriWa and Snippet Sunday provides is the opportunity to brag, you’re wrong. It does the ego good, sure, and keeps the interest levels up in both one’s own work and other people’s (my Must Read list has quadrupled along the way) . . . but it also does the writing some good, too.
Regardless, this bit comes right after last week’s, when lawyer Samantha asked Clyota about the contents of that pesky lockbox:
“Hold on,” Samantha said, holding up a hand. “Before I allow my curiosity to overcome my principles, I should remind you that I’m an officer of the Court, which means if I conceal any crime, either directly or by omission, I’ll lose my license and standing—you’re not paying me enough for that, either. So you need to decide how much about this mystery you want me reporting to the Powers that Be.”
I studied her for a moment, an idea tickling the back of my mind.
“But that aside,” she said, “Attorney-Client Privilege says I can’t repeat what you tell me, unless you want me to. And while it’s all well and good there’s another suspect—and that a high-ranked member of the Press is a witness—unless we can prove why Anderson-Smith wants this property enough to kill for it, we run the risk of the prosecution convincing the Jury, not to mention Rapton-Fitzgerald, that you killed your mother’s boyfriend for some deep, dark psychological reasons. And I don’t do insanity defenses.
“Plus,” she added, with a wide smile that displayed blinding white teeth against lovely sienna skin, “I really want to know.”
31 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Full Metal Librarian (Principled Curiosity)”
Your lawyer sounded… lawyerly. That last sentence made me giggle. Great eight. This sounds like a book I’d like to read.
Whew! Good! Thanks, Denise. 🙂
I love the last line: “I really want to know.” My understanding is many lawyers DON’T want to know if their client is guilty because it’s hard to defend someone knowing that information.
Well, she did warn Clyota, first . . . and it helps that she isn’t actually guilty of murder.
First, I love and completely agree with your intro. This blog-hopping is much more than an ego-boost and has helped me many times with getting past blocks, fixing minor and major issues that are revealed. So, right on. 🙂
Second, I love how Samantha phrased her response to Clyota. I’d imagine there’s a lot of conflict and inner turmoil when you’re a defense lawyer. In this case, I can’t imagine how terrible the curiosity might grow.
You’re the one who encouraged me to join up for the Six on Sundays, way the heck back, so I owe you (again), Lisa. I don’t know how I ever wrote without you.
Defense lawyers have it tough . . . but they’re an essential part of our legal system, bless ’em.
I feel way too excited about the fact that I have/had anything to do with your writing. 😀 I don’t know how it’s possible that no one else ever nudged you repeatedly. Haha.
And I agree about defense lawyers having it tough. That’s a job I couldn’t do. My job is nothing in comparison. Whew!
Oh, people nudge me all the time . . . but I listen to you. 🙂
Your job is the equivalent of debating a roomful of defense lawyers for seven hours a day. 😉
I’m going to ask that you always make me feel this important, because I totally needed to hear it today. ❤
OK, true–on the job. But your job can't any better in that respect, I'm sure. 😀
Okay. No problem. 🙂
And you’re right. Sigh . . .
I’m with Samantha…I really wanna know! Nice eight!
I agree. Sunday snippets has definitely helped my writing a time or two. Great excerpt. She definitely sounded like a lawyer. 🙂
And they’re fun, too, Joanne!
I agree what’s been said before; she comes across as a real lawyer. I’m not an expert on the law, but from what I’ve read, lawyers typically don’t care one way or the other whether their client is guilty or not. Could also be that your lawyer is different from the average, which makes her stand out from the mold.
They should care, insomuch as it would affect a proper defense. And an uninformed defense lawyer can be an ineffective one . . . So I’m glad you think she seems like a real one! 🙂
I want to know, too.
You nailed the lawyer talk, we’ll done 🙂 I agree, these memes are so helpful. The practice of putting my words out there is huge.
And seriously, the practice is invaluable.
I love how intelligent and lawyerly she sounds. I also agree that these hops are helpful for tightening our work. I’ve found things that could be reworded more effectively or in less words while going through the bits to be used for the next week a number of times.
Thank you, Carrie-Anne. It really does help, beyond figuring out what can be said in eight sentences, doesn’t it? 🙂
I like Samantha and I felt her lawyerly dialog was highly believable, but I really liked that she wants to know the answer “just because”. Re the weekly blog hop, I’ve found so many new-to-me-authors through reading their excerpts – love it!
Lawyers are human, too! 😀
Writers are fun people, I’ve found.
Yep. Knowing that others will be reading my writing makes me scrutinize what I post. Good to know others do that too! Nice snippet — I especially like the description “blinding white teeth against lovely sienna skin”.
I hope we all do, Regina. 😉
And thank you!
Your intro is spot on! Snippets are especially useful for me in getting feedback & seeing how others read a passage when they’re basically doing so blind. (What? No, i don’t see you-all as lab rats!)
Love your snippet! I’m in the company of lawyers quite a bit & even though they can’t be disbarred for failing to report a crime (at least not in Oregon) they hate it when someone knows that. It’s all about the leverage . . . 🙂
(squeak-squeak! 🙂 )
This is slightly in the future, so . . . I sort of made common knowledge true?
Just curious why you put this line: “I studied her for a moment, an idea tickling the back of my mind.” in the middle of the lawyer’s speech? It seems like it would fit more at the end of the snippet or maybe as the second to last sentence.
As always, I love this world you have created.
Mostly, it’s because the idea occurs to Cly right after Sam says she’s required to report any crimes, but also because I wanted to break up that speech a little.
Sam doesn’t pause for breath much, so I try to put in a few breaks.
“Before I allow my curiosity to overcome my principles,…” Nice foreshadowing of “I really want to know.”