It’s School Picture Day today for Sunny, and miracle of miracles, we had no arguments over her outfit or her hair—the child is stylin’—nor did she sustain damage from the Wesson Family semi-traditional, pre-Picture Day, concrete faceplant this weekend, as was so lovingly captured in her 16th month photo above.
She said her tummy hurt, but I decided to go with my mother’s patented No Fever, No Excuse policy, in the hopes that if her discomfort actually exists, and is caused by a more pernicious bug than butterflies, any repercussions of my parental Blinders o’ Optimism will hold off until the photographer snaps the shutter.
But tomorrow is Janie’s Picture Day, which is a potential concrete faceplant of a completely different nature.
There’s a standard equation for these things, and the math isn’t pretty:
Picture Day + Precocious Pre-Teen + School Dress Requirements + Responsible Parents = Armageddon
You could argue that every kid is different, of course, and that I’m weighing heavily on the side of pessimism. And I won’t argue.
I mean, Jane’s already chosen her favorite dress, which looked stunning on her last Christmas . . . when she was four inches shorter . . . and only just starting to wear training undergarments that have since lost their amateur status.
So there’s that, plus weather predictions for tomorrow that appear just a tad too Brazilian rainforest for woolen knit—and an overheated Jane is not a Sweetness & Light Jane®, whom her teachers much prefer.
I’ve been gently suggesting alternative outfits all week, but I’m not sure I’m getting through.
Shoes might also be a problem, since her best pair of black flats disintegrated immediately upon contact with her feet—or so she claims—and the heel of one of her dressy-enough-boots fell off at the beginning of summer. Her barefoot state is all the fault of her neglectful parents, of course, as we didn’t immediately go hunting for new winter boots among all the sandals and flip-flops.
In other words, those of you who live in our hemisphere might want to close your windows between 7pm and 7am CST, in case we get a little loud.