Have a WIP, an EIP, an MS, or a published work you want to share on your blog, eight sentences at a time?
Want to sample other people’s WIPs, EIPs, MSs, or published works, eight sentences at a time?
Be a Weekend Writing Warrior!
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This week, the opening eight sentences of something new:
Viv shuffled into the kitchen on purple bunny feet, squinting against the unfamiliar and unwelcome sunlight coming through the window over the sink.
She grabbed her morning mug from the counter and shoved it at the coffeemaker . . . which was empty, cold, and unplugged. After a moment of bewildered betrayal, she remembered she hadn’t set the overnight timer because she’d planned to sleep as long as possible. Which was, according to the microwave’s clock, 10:15 am.
She’d slept almost five hours past First Caffeine—no wonder her brain felt like it was made of packing peanuts.
A few minutes later, she was beginning to remember why she’d long ago decided to set up the coffeemaker in the evening, when she was awake enough to pour the water into the reservoir instead of the basket, where she would have put the filter before the coffee.
She closed her eyes, opened them, set the glass measuring cup gently on the counter and went to the cupboard for a bowl. Maybe a hit or two of sugar-coated, nutritionally suspect, extruded cereal would fool her brain cells into firing long enough to clean up the mess and get her caffeine fix brewing.
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So, here’s the deal:
I was rummaging around in Full Metal Librarian yesterday, trying to find eight consecutive sentences that made sense, when I realized that after a year or so of doling out this story six to eight sentences at a time, give or take some creative punctuation, there really isn’t anything left to share that won’t ruin the ending.
Clearly, that’s not a good idea, so I needed to find something else to share, if I wanted to keep participating in these Sundays. And I do—it would still be fun to see what everyone’s doing, but sharing my own stuff provides awesome feedback and weekly kicks-in-the-pants.
The current project above is something I’m calling The Anti-Cupids. It’s a working title, and it works because the MCs have no use for romance—or at least the more obvious tropes and trappings.
Viv, the overly practical sister of the bride, and Jack, the overly cynical brother of the groom, meet during the preparations for their hopelessly romantic siblings’ Perfect Wedding, and forge an alliance to survive with their sanity intact. After the reception, they cheerfully part ways . . . until the newlyweds have their very first fight and flee heartbroken in opposite directions to camp out—indefinitely—on Viv and Jack’s respective couches.
As our anti-cupids join forces to get their apartments back convince the crazy (and remarkably stubborn) kids that love doesn’t have to be perfect to last, they discover that there’s no one else they’d rather be imperfect with than each other.
Or that’s the plan, anyway . . .
Please note: any similarities between Val’s morning slapstick routine and anything the author may or may not have done are entirely conjecture, as there were no eyewitnesses.
This is excellent, Sarah. Great descriptions–they made me chuckle! Nice change up on the source for your post. 🙂 Glad you didn’t ruin the ending. 🙂
It was a tough call, Teresa, since my ego really enjoyed the comments on FML. 🙂
I’m glad you like this one!
Love the story premise and I got totally caught up in her morning fog attempt to wake up and cope – SO well written. Fun snippet!
Whew! Thanks, Veronica. 😉
Interesting plot line.
I liked the idea of the morning sun being unfamiliar!
Thanks, Chip. Oddly, it’s unfamiliar because she usually gets up too early for it . . . that part is sadly autobiographical.
LOVE the line about packing peanuts. How well I know the feeling.
I live with that feeling, Averil. 😀
I can/did identify with her morning pre-coffee fog. Lovely description. Nicely done.
Thanks, Susan. It’s a familiar state to me, too. 🙂
Fun post Sarah, can’t wait to see more! I’m not addicted to coffee for this very reason 🙂 Saw my parents hopeless about it and vowed never to fall under its spell…
Thanks, Angela! I was hoping you’d stop by, now that you’re back.
I avoided coffee’s siren song for a long time, but alas, I have succumbed . . .
she has my sympathy. I love a good shot of caffeine in the morning or afternoon and sometimes at night
I have a couple cups in the morning, and maybe one in the afternoon, but I’ve learned to stay away from the coffeemaker after two! 🙂
bewildered betrayal <– too funny. I've so been there, lol. Great snippet. 🙂
It may be a universal thing: “There’s no coffee? How can this be ?!” 😀
Thanks!
I LOVE this line “She’d slept almost five hours past First Caffeine—no wonder her brain felt like it was made of packing peanuts.” and this one too “Maybe a hit or two of sugar-coated, nutritionally suspect, extruded cereal would fool her brain cells into firing long enough to clean up the mess and get her caffeine fix brewing.” I lmao with both of them. Nicely done, Sarah. 😀
Thanks, Siobhan! 🙂
This is the part that’s definitely NOT autobiographical—I can’t stand Corn Pops. 😉
She could try a NoDoz or one of the caffiene-spiked soft drinks.
Very true, Sue Ann. 🙂
“…purple bunny feet…” Loved that and the pic!
Thanks, Sandra! 🙂
I want purple bunny slippers, but the only ones I ever find are kid-sized . . .
The first line made me laugh – ‘purple bunny feet’. I’m guessing those are her slippers. This snippet reminds me of me every morning before I go to work. Great 8!
I certainly hope those are her slippers, Frank—but wouldn’t that be a great first line for a paranormal? 😀
I guess it would.
Nice way of showing she’s unused to waking early, and brother! can I relate! Good snippet, good writing.
She’s actually used to waking before the sun comes up, but only with the assistance of a pot of java! 😀
Thanks, Rayne!
OMG, I love this! I think we’ve all known that brain-fog.
Thanks! Yeah, I know it very, very well. 😀
This is great! And I love the set up for the story. Can’t wait to read more.
Thank you! 🙂
As a certified non-morning person, I can really feel this character’s pain. In the mornings, it often feels like inanimate objects are out to thwart your attempts to get ready for the day.
Love her slippers–and the way you mention them as ‘purple bunny feet.’
Inanimate objects are the worst, Caitlin. They’re mean before caffeine . . .
I’m glad you like the bunnies! 🙂
The visuals in the snippet are fantastic! Great job!
Thanks, Jess!
It’s nice to read about character that suffers the same as I do without my caffeine fix. Great use of the eights!
It appears to be a universal condition, J.A. Thanks! 😀
Great details here. Love how you make the mundane act of making breakfast come alive.
Or trying to make breakfast, anyway. 🙂 Thanks, Kate!
Love the premise of the book and the sentences! Can’t wait to read more.
Thanks, Jennifer! 🙂
Good description of a morning of we coffeeholics. This weekend I went without for 24 hours. It was a near death experience.
Ouch, Dad—you’re giving me sympathy pains! 😀
Ah…I think I’ve suffered the same uncaffeinated affliction before, and had similar disastrous results getting the coffee made : ) So much fun in these eight lines. Loved it!
It’s like trying to find one’s glasses, without wearing one’s glasses! 🙂
Thanks, Millie!
I can relate to the morning fog… lol Great snippet!
Thanks, Karen. I related to it this morning . . . 😀
What an excellent story idea! It’s so real. Your way with words is something I hope to achieve someday. Honestly, that was such an excellent snippet. I was like, oh my that is so me in the morning! You do a great job with show don’t tell. 🙂 Your choice of words and how you put them together adds such a slice of life to the story. Superb 8!
History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders
Wow! Thank you, Cindy!
You’ve made my day! 😀
I felt like I was right there! Totally know about the caffeine fix in the morning. Great visuals and description. Enjoyed! 🙂