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We’re skipping over about half a page from last week, not only because I was going through a brief phase of very short sentences (don’t laugh, it could happen), but ALSO because Jack is about to figure out how he can show Viv that he’s a good guy, without apologizing for not-Renee.*
But first, Dennis asks him how the “cake tasting thing” went.
“Most of it was Kirsten making up David’s mind.”
Dennis grinned. “Sounds like fun.”
“Parts of it were okay—like the coffee once we escaped. Hey,” he said, as a thought struck, “mind if I take your picture?”
“Why?”
“No, don’t move.” Jack whipped out his phone.
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These aren’t the plans I have for Dennis . . . but Jack’s current plan will help Viv in the next chapter.
Because I apparently think having my characters objectify an sweet, ridiculously attractive young man is okay. Then again, he’s probably used to it AND he’s a figment of my imagination, anyway, more’s the pity.
Plus, he works in advertising, so who actually holds the moral high ground here? Huh?
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*(and who I think I’m fooling with this “not” stuff, I don’t know—the name’s stuck and I know it).
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Image of the Alcatel 6030 by ElvisFer, via Wikimedia Commons.
Earful of Cider 
Very nice, can’t wait to see what’s next.
Thanks, Nancy! 🙂
Good stuff. Interesting how Jack doesn’t answer his question. Nice snippet!
Thank you!
Jack’ll tell him in a couple of lines. But first, he needs the shot!
Interesting. Can’t wait for more.
Thanks, Karen! 🙂
Really nice flow to the dialogue. It sounds very natural.
Thanks, Eleri! I’m pleased with the way these two sound—male POV is tricky for me sometimes.
I love “Kirsten making up David’s mind.”
I calls ’em like I sees them, Sue Ann. 😀
“Most of it was Kirsten making up David’s mind.”
I love that line!
Thanks, Paula! Kirsten is the center of most of the good lines in this story, so far. I think not-Renee will beat her total by the end, though. 🙂
Agree with Sue Ann and with PT! That is ridiculously spot on! lol I hope you’re having as much fun writing this, Sarah, as we are reading it! Good 8 🙂
Thanks, Teresa! Yep, this has been a blast, so far, though I’m starting to feel bad about everything I’m dumping on Viv… (I’m lying. I love it)
Love that first line and an curious to see what happens next;).
Thanks, Tina! 🙂
Hm. He avoided that question, didn’t he?
He’s a photographer at heart, Elaine, so pictures before explanations! 😀
I’m getting to like the name “not-Renee” — maybe you should go with that? Unique…catchy… 😉
And I have to say I heartily approve of objectifying Dennis. It’s no different than creating cannon-fodder characters, except I’m guessing Dennis gets to live to the end and stay ridiculously attractive the whole time? Win-win!
I was considering having her change her name for professional modeling purposes, so I could have all the other characters call her “not-Renee” on purpose, but that would be stretching the cute, I think. 😀
Dennis does live, yes—and I’ll be rewarding him amply for his patience. Okay, guilt gone. Thanks, Charley! 🙂
Sneaky. Great snippet, Sarah. 🙂
Jack can be. Thanks, Siobhan! 🙂
Loved the “Kirsten making up David’s mind.” Great snippet.
Thanks, Kate! Kirsten is fun to make fun of . . . 🙂
Great excerpt, loved the wordplay, can’t wait for more. This is a world I’d like to live in, apparently LOL.
Thanks, Veronica! I’m glad I get to live in it for even a little while—bridezillas and all. 🙂
I’m very curious about Dennis! You wrote him so well. Oh, and now I want cake. 🙂
Thanks, Dianne!
A description of Dennis is here, if you’re interested. He’s sort of a kind of cake . . . 😉
David seems a bit under Kirsten’s thumb???
Yep. But he likes it there. So far. 😉
Love that–just let me take your picture, and after it’s too late, then I’ll explain. Someone’s used to getting his way, now he needs to exercise that skill on Renee. (Who’s name grew on you, like a virulent fungus, I guess.)
That’s our Jack, yes.
(and yes, exactly like a virus 🙂 )
I’m curious as to why Jack wants to take his picture, and why Dennis just lets him do it instead of trying to refuse or getting an answer first.
Jack’s motivation is benign, and Dennis and he have been friends a long time. So there’s a certain amount of trust.
But mostly because it’s funnier this way. 🙂
Will this photo be like Chekhov’s gun?
It will be used by the next chapter, I promise. We just have some witty banter and a bratty teenaged bridesmaid to get through first. 😉
Okee doke.
I wonder what the picture is for.
Oh, I think I know what the pictures for, but I can’t wait to find out to see if I’m right. I have to say, this story is one that I look forward to every week for the witty banter! You always put a smile on my face!
Aww, thanks, MIllie!
The photo isn’t really a big deal, but that 8 sentence limit seems to make a mystery of everything. 🙂