Have a WIP, an EIP, an MS, or a published work you want to share on your blog, eight sentences at a time?
Want to sample other people’s WIPs, EIPs, MSs, or published works, eight sentences at a time?
Be a Weekend Writing Warrior!
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First:
Happy Father’s Day to anyone who identifies as male and is owned by a child of any age or species.
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Here’s another bit of conversation between Jack and Viv, again from Jack’s POV.
This originally took place right after the final dress fitting, which I’m reworking, but I’m thinking of moving it to the wedding reception, because it wouldn’t do for Jack to notice that he’s noticing Viv too soon.
So, depending on my final edit, Viv will take either a swallow of hazelnut mocha or a sip of Champagne, just as Jack comments that she doesn’t look much like her (conventionally gorgeous, waif-like) sister.
He means well . . .
“Good eye,” she said, coughing a little. “Questionable tact.”
“It wasn’t an insult, just an observation.”
She shrugged, as if it didn’t matter either way. “Jen looks like Mom and I look like Dad, except for the hair and the nose; the hair is from Mom’s Grandma, or so she tells me. I have no idea who passed down the nose, but I’m grateful—the last thing this face needs is two pounds of Mitchell Schnozz stuck in the middle of it.”
“I like your face,” he said, but she’d turned away.
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Makes you wonder how he manages to snag all those marriage-minded women, doesn’t it?
Except maybe he’s comfortable enough with Viv to drop the smooth, practiced patter and be himself . . . Yeah, that’s probably it.
Earful of Cider 
If he’s trying to complement her he isn’t coming across very well.
He didn’t know the comment was loaded, Sue Ann, and he was a little late on the uptake. 🙂
Hum, did she hear him or not? I wonder.
Nope. Not that she would have believed him anyway.
I wonder how he’s going to talk his way out of this.
About half a book. 😉
Fortunately she’s not of the “Jimmy Durante” lineage.
Nice 8!
Oh, mercy, Chip, no one deserves that! 🙂
Thanks!
I kind of like that he’s still bumbling this. We can’t have it be too easy 🙂
He only bumbles with her. it’s a Sign. 😀
He’s not making points with his fumbling remarks. I feel kind of sorry for him. 😀
It’ll be good for him, Gem. Eventually. 😀
I love that she shrugs it off. Mitchell schnozz, lol. 🙂
She’s as oblivious as he is, but from different angles.
I missed the Boyer nose by thiiiiis much, The kicker? It was my grandmother’s. 🙂
Definitely questionable tact! Sometimes family resemblance is a chancy thing.
I love the idea of named family body parts–I know someone who called her rear an inheritance of the “Duckett Bucket,” which made me laugh. After all, misery loves company–and snappy names.
The Dread of Heredity, Caitlin! 🙂
I LOVE the Duckett Bucket, and will be stealing it in the future! But the Wilkes Thighs are mentioned during the dress fitting. 😀
I love her remark about the schnozz. Both my parents got the schnozz, but my brother and I lucked out in that department. Great snippet, Sarah. 🙂
So, far the Boyer nose has skipped two generations. My future grandchildren might want to duck . . .
Thanks, Siobhan!
i felt her ambiance/apathy towards him
She’s pretty sure he isn’t interested in women like her.
In her defense, he doesn’t know he is, yet, so . . .
I love how she describes her features. At least in terms of facial features, I seem to take after the Wellek and Neiman branches of my family tree, but I’ve never thought to give those names to it.
Naming body parts is a family tradition that’s easy to start and tough to quit, Carrie-Anne! 😀
Needs to work oh his technique a bit.
True, Elaine! 🙂
There’s a charm to this eight that I’m enjoying very much. Thanks.
Thanks, Charmaine! 🙂
I love this story and I thought the snippet was quite realistic. Felt so sorry for your bumbling hero! I hope she gives him more chances (he’ll probably need more than one, based on his record to date LOL). Wonderful excerpt!
Thank you, Veronica!
He’s not sure what to do with a woman who doesn’t value her looks—or think she has any to speak of. And it’ll take her a while to listen.
I really like the last couple of lines when he tries to redeem himself. Very sweet. Poor guy.
Thanks, Alexis! 🙂
“two pounds of Mitchell Schnozz stuck in the middle of it”–loved that bit!! I enjoyed this little glimpse at their exchange, I really want to read more about them.
Thanks, Skye! 🙂
I hope many will. 😉
Lol, poor sod, not doing a very good job. Love Viv’s response;).
At least he’s not trying to play her. 😀
She’s a practical soul, is Viv.
Love this–your writing has an Emily Giffin kind of quality (just discovered her books last week).
Wow! Thanks, Nancy! 🙂
Ah a wee bit to slow on the response, but sweet. Enjoyed the snippet. 🙂
I think she handled it well but I love that it takes half a book for him to talk himself out of that one.
You’re welcome–looking forward to reading this book!
It sounds like Viv under-estimates her own qualities. And I think he doesn’t quite understand why he feels drawn to her. Good 8, very real.
That’s it exactly, Chelle! Thanks! 🙂
Ooh, that’s a nice little character moment. Don’t give up, Jack. Viv’s a keeper!
Thanks, Mike. They both are. He’s going to have to work for it, though. 🙂
I tell ya, I just love the wit and humor in this story!
History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders
Thanks, Cindy! 🙂
“Questionable tact.” I love it… Nice work.
Thanks, Jeff. It ain’t noir, but I do what I can. 😀
Sarah, you have fortunately avoided the Boyer snorkel which I have heard described as an upside down urinal. I unfortunately, did not. I think you have a much more attractive Brooksbank nose (via Harold). Congratulations to my grandchildren who didn’t inherit that singular feature from the Boyer side either. Think it is too late for me to get a nose job?
Yes, I think I chose the better option, though I think I actually have the Ray nose—it’s been edging into blobby potato territory as I age.
The only woman I’ve ever seen pull off the Boyer nose with élan is your mother. ‘Course, she’s the only Boyer I remember, but still…
Great snippet, as always! Poor Jack… he’s trying so hard… But does he know he’s trying, or was he just making small talk?
Thanks, Paula!
And that is the right question! He thinks he’s making small talk . . .