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This is the third part of the gnome scene I started sharing two Sundays ago.
It’s not the final part of the scene, but it’s probably the last part of The Anti-Cupids I’ll be sharing during these Sundays—your feedback has been wonderful, but I don’t want to give everything away!
I’m skipping a few sentences from last week, during which Jack puts Viv on speaker and sets the phone down on Dennis’s drafting table.
You may think I’ve used creative punctuation in this to fit the sentence limit, but that would be giving me too much credit; much to my embarrassment, that fifth sentence appears exactly as it is in my MS.
Sigh . . .
“Hi, Dennis,” Viv said, her voice tinny, but clear. “I don’t know what’s going on, either.”
“Viv, describe the gnomes—Dennis, draw ’em.”
“I’m drawing what now?” Dennis asked.
“Caffeine Gnomes,” Jack said, “marching with drums through your tired brain, demanding tribute or they’ll fire up the bagpipes—while you’re appeasing them, please yourself at JavaNation, ” he added, frowning, “but that sucks, so stick with the images for now—and just for laughs, put ’em into the McAllister tartan.”
Dennis stared at him for a second. Then he picked up his beloved mock ups, slung them at the nearest table, and grabbed his favorite charcoal pencil.
“Fire when ready,” he said, grinning .
The McAllister’s, if you’ll recall, are the owners of JavaNation and have, so far, been impossible to please.
I’m personally picturing a combination of this and the last panel of this. The Nac Mac Feegles may not be gnomes—they’re pictsies—but they aren’t about a noise-based protection racket (pun totally intended), and that coffee cup in Dave Kellet’s drawing is perfect.
We’ll see how the McAllister’s like it.
37 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: The Anti-Cupids (Drawing Board)”
That just might work.
Maybe, Sue Ann. There’s a reason I never went into advertising. 🙂
Oh that sounds like fun. I hope Dennis can draw well from word because Viv is not behind his back to correct the details.
There’s a line somewhere about Dennis making a good police sketch artist, so I don’t think we need to worry, Linda. 🙂
Avid fan of good dialog here, and I like this!
Thanks, Chip! Weird sentence and all?
Good god this sounds interesting! You’ve got me hooked and I haven’t read any of the earlier gnome scene! I can just picture them and I loved the stare Dennis gives and then his acceptance with a smile….
Thanks, Angela. 😀
Dennis blinks at Jack a lot in this (for good reason), so I thought I’d shake it up. 😉
I want to see the drawing! lol Enjoyed the snippet. Great visual and banter.
I wish I could draw, but I’ll spare you my lack of talent, Karen. 😀
Great snippet! I’ve really enjoyed everything you’ve shared from this book. (And that sentence you were worried about? Don’t worry about it — that’s how people talk.)
Awww, thanks, Paula! 🙂
(It maybe how they talk, but is it how they read? 😉 )
That Jack is pretty sharp when he puts his mind to something. Great snippet! 🙂
For some things, Charley. Women, on the other hand . . . 😀
Love it, so much going on in this story. Please keep us posted when we can buy it and read the entire thing!!! Today’s excerpt was fun and now i’m going to have a hard time forgetting the darn gnomes LOL.
Thank you so much, Veronica. If it ever makes it out there, you’ll hear me celebrating from here! 😀
I laughed out loud at Dennis’s stare. You crack me up! Fab snippet. 😀
Love this… you’ve got a great sense of pace for humor.
Thank, Jeff! 🙂
Haha! That sentence is awesome. I wouldn’t change a thing. The visual so perfect, and it’s quite a humorous, to boot!
Thanks, Teresa! 🙂
I’d like to see that drawing. Today’s excerpt was as much fun as usual, and I love the gnomes.
Thanks, Elaine! I wish I could draw as well as Dennis can. 🙂
Artist’s at work…love it.
Thanks, Millie! 🙂
Love the camaraderie in this scene. Great 8.
They work well together. 🙂
This sounds like fun! I was wondering where things were going with the gnomes 🙂
When I started writing this, the gnomes were just a quirk of Viv’s, meant (by me) to get Jack’s attention.
But then this horrible client showed up, and I needed a reason to get them talking again after the wedding, so . . .
Lol, I LOVE it. Now I want one of the coffee shops to use this kind of advertising campaign. Genius. Great 8.
If you ever see it out there, let me know. 😉
Okay, now I want a Scottish caffeine gnome poster! 😀 Great snippet, Sarah. 🙂
So do I, Siobhan! 🙂
Still with the gnomes, eh? Evil, those gnomes.
Yes. But they’ll save they day, just you wait. 🙂
I love these caffeine gnomes, and I’ve only had coffee five times in my life!