Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (And . . . ?)

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Last week’s question—again posed by Kyle, who has a lot of ’em this chapter—was what Tom was going to be doing while she was busy using police resources to dump a half-dead wannabe werewolf assassin on the front porch of the Alpha of the city pack.

Hmmm . . .

ampersand

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Figure out what the hell’s going on and fix it.”

“And?”

“And keep you in the loop.”

She folded her arms. “And?”

“And make sure nothing goes FUBAR on your watch.”

“He can be taught,” she told the ceiling, as if the miracle surprised her.

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Originally, there were a couple sentences about three lines down about Kyle’s job and Tom’s thoughts on the difficulties of controlling a population that wasn’t supposed to exist.

I’m not sure if I removed them because I couldn’t figure out how to wedge ’em in there without subverting the true purpose of every punctuation mark I know until the whole thing looked like a clump of semantic oatmeal . . .  or because they don’t belong there in the first place.

Hmmm . . .

I’ve been listening to Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett in audiobook form lately, to get the feel for the tone I want to set.  Chandler had a fantastic way of describing things in one or two brilliant, poetic throwaway sentences. Hammett had a gift for description, too . . . but he was obviously paid by the word.

Hmmm . . .

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36 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (And . . . ?)

  1. I’m not sure how the killer werewolf was his fault, exactly… or how he could have prevented the attack. But she might as well blame him for it.

    The armed forces have some great acronyms, don’t they?

    The dialogue is so clean and funny as-is. You might be right about the extra bits belonging elsewhere.

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