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Last week’s question—again posed by Kyle, who has a lot of ’em this chapter—was what Tom was going to be doing while she was busy using police resources to dump a half-dead wannabe werewolf assassin on the front porch of the Alpha of the city pack.
Hmmm . . .
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Figure out what the hell’s going on and fix it.”
“And?”
“And keep you in the loop.”
She folded her arms. “And?”
“And make sure nothing goes FUBAR on your watch.”
“He can be taught,” she told the ceiling, as if the miracle surprised her.
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Originally, there were a couple sentences about three lines down about Kyle’s job and Tom’s thoughts on the difficulties of controlling a population that wasn’t supposed to exist.
I’m not sure if I removed them because I couldn’t figure out how to wedge ’em in there without subverting the true purpose of every punctuation mark I know until the whole thing looked like a clump of semantic oatmeal . . . or because they don’t belong there in the first place.
Hmmm . . .
I’ve been listening to Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett in audiobook form lately, to get the feel for the tone I want to set. Chandler had a fantastic way of describing things in one or two brilliant, poetic throwaway sentences. Hammett had a gift for description, too . . . but he was obviously paid by the word.
Hmmm . . .
Great humour! Great writing and snippet.
Thanks, Nicolette! 🙂
Sounds like he’s taken her advice and may be of some use after all!
Well . . . he might have some trouble with that last one, Gemma. 🙂
She doesn’t trust him. I like the ‘nothing goes FUBAR on your watch’ bit.
She trusts him as much as I trust my kids to clean their rooms if I’m not watching. 😀
Thanks, Frank!
Nice that you make that comparison – that’s so true.
Great snippet as always. Can’t wait to check in next week.
Thanks, Cecilia! 🙂
Love this snippet big time. Keep going. Your style is terrific.
Thank you, Charmaine! I owe it all to Tom and his way with short sentences. 😀
He said the words she wanted to hear. Now let’s hope he really follows them. lol Great snippet.
I wouldn’t take odds on that, Karen! 🙂
Thanks!
The last line made me lol. Lovin’ the interplay between them.
Thanks, Eleri! They snipe because they care. Sort of. 😀
“He can be taught!” Made me think of the Genie in Aladdin. Great snippet, Sarah. 🙂
Ah! That’s where I got it . . . 😀
Thanks, Siobhan!
Fun snippet. I’m liking her more and more as this goes on.
Thanks, Paula! Kyle is a good person to have in your corner. 🙂
All right, I”m old and out of the loop. What does FUBAR mean?
It’s an Army acronym, Sue Ann: F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition (or Repair). 🙂
I love the back and forth between them, particularly the final line.
Thanks, Carrie-Anne! 🙂
Your dialog is SO wonderful and snappy. I definitely want to read more of this story…terrific snippet!
The last line cracks me up.
I’m not sure how the killer werewolf was his fault, exactly… or how he could have prevented the attack. But she might as well blame him for it.
The armed forces have some great acronyms, don’t they?
The dialogue is so clean and funny as-is. You might be right about the extra bits belonging elsewhere.
Nice dialogue.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/
Great dialogue and bantor. I just about died when I saw FUBAR. My hubby says that all the time. 🙂
OMG, I love it. Your characters jump off the page. Fabulous 8!
great last line … LOL
I love her more every week.
Thanks, Emmy. So do I. 🙂
Great litle exchange. Gotta love it when you can work FUBAR into a sentence 😉
Thanks, Jeff. It was a particular goal of mine. 😀
I would be surprised too.
Me, too, Linda. 🙂