Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (The Other Shoe)

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PI wereduck Tom and American Swan Princess Leda are still having lunch, eight sentences at a time.  I don’t even think they’ve ordered yet . . .

But it’s become clear to Tom that she needs help—even if it isn’t his kind—and he’s been waiting for her to cut to the chase and tell him why she wanted to see him.

Turns out, it wasn’t entirely her idea.

Manolo Blahnik Swan

 

“Daddy  thought I might be able to convince you to meet with him.”

“He didn’t think about asking himself?”

“If you go to him first, he’s in a superior position, even if he’s the one who wants a favor,” she said, looking into her glass. “Daddy doesn’t like even ground.”

That surprised me; I’d always figured Leda was more intelligent than Jackie claimed but I’d never heard her speak against her father before.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She lifted the glass to her lips, threw back the contents in one quick motion, and set it down precisely where it had been. “No,” she said, “but I deserve it.”

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I took out two sentences in the middle to make this fit the limit.  Not sure now if I’ll put them back.  I also combined Leda’s last line, but I think I like it better the other way.  These are the things I worry about when I don’t actually want to write . . .

Fun fact: I chose that shoe up there from a whole page of Manolo Blahnik images, because it seemed like Leda’s sort of thing.  When  I clicked on it to save, I found out the design is called “Swan”.  Dude.

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47 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (The Other Shoe)

  1. I really like the power play you’re setting up. Simple things that give us a good idea of her father and how his authority might affect Leda. The last sentence is great.

  2. Okay, now I like her. She has self-awareness and seems to be making efforts to overcome her past actions. Great snippet, Sarah!

  3. Perhaps she’s not heading for a fall after all, if she’s showing glimmers of self-awareness.

    That shoe looks painful! I never learnt how to walk in high heels, and don’t have the desire to do so given the unnatural position they push the foot into.

  4. I have to agree with the others, the last line is great. I think she’s on the road to being okay if she can just stay on it. Interesting snippet.

  5. Oh my, the plot thickens;). You mentioned you removed two sentences in the middle. It doesn’t feel like anything is missing and I love the last line. It definitely hooks the reader into continuing on. Great 8.

  6. If ever a shoe is a swan, that one is!

    There are some depths to her, after all. I wonder what she did to deserve not being okay. I’m already not liking her dad–I’d say Tom should ignore him, except then I won’t know what Daddy Dearest wants.

        • As far as I’m concerned, they’re the most important iPhone feature! My husband wants to get me a new phone and was showing me nifty Samsung gewgaws and such, but I can’t even consider a change because I can no longer express myself without them. 😱 Especially that one. I saw The Scream emoji (and Kitty Scream 🙀) and became an Apple customer for life. 🍎

  7. Love the way you’re weaving the different people into the narrative. Leda is a much more sympathetic character once her father’s behavior is revealed.

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