Have a WIP, an EIP, an MS, or a published work you want to share on your blog, eight sentences at a time?
Want to sample other people’s WIPs, EIPs, MSs, or published works, eight sentences at a time?
Be a Weekend Writing Warrior!
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Or if you’re a fellow Facebook addict (we can quit any time we want to, right?),
why not check out the offerings of the Snippet Sunday gang?
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PI wereduck Tom and American Swan Princess Leda are still having lunch, eight sentences at a time. I don’t even think they’ve ordered yet . . .
But it’s become clear to Tom that she needs help—even if it isn’t his kind—and he’s been waiting for her to cut to the chase and tell him why she wanted to see him.
Turns out, it wasn’t entirely her idea.
“Daddy thought I might be able to convince you to meet with him.”
“He didn’t think about asking himself?”
“If you go to him first, he’s in a superior position, even if he’s the one who wants a favor,” she said, looking into her glass. “Daddy doesn’t like even ground.”
That surprised me; I’d always figured Leda was more intelligent than Jackie claimed but I’d never heard her speak against her father before.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She lifted the glass to her lips, threw back the contents in one quick motion, and set it down precisely where it had been. “No,” she said, “but I deserve it.”
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I took out two sentences in the middle to make this fit the limit. Not sure now if I’ll put them back. I also combined Leda’s last line, but I think I like it better the other way. These are the things I worry about when I don’t actually want to write . . .
Fun fact: I chose that shoe up there from a whole page of Manolo Blahnik images, because it seemed like Leda’s sort of thing. When I clicked on it to save, I found out the design is called “Swan”. Dude.
Earful of Cider 
That last line has me really intrigued!
And the whole thing paints a great picture of her father — and their relationship. Keep writing!
Thanks, Paula!
I’m writing! 🙂
Hum I wonder what she has done to think that she deserves it.
We shall see. 🙂
I really like the power play you’re setting up. Simple things that give us a good idea of her father and how his authority might affect Leda. The last sentence is great.
Thanks, Aheila. 🙂
Leda is definitely her Daddy’s little cygnet . . . or was.
oh goodness, let the power games begin! Her dad sounds like he can be a prick-ly sort of guy.
Yes, indeed.
Alderman Swanson isn’t prickly, exactly, but he is arrogant as all #@%%. And, oddly enough, fun to write. 🙂
A woman of precision.
It will be interesting to see if her future actions are as precise.
Nice 8!
She can be, Chip, but she’s just finding that out. 🙂
Thank you!
Okay, now I like her. She has self-awareness and seems to be making efforts to overcome her past actions. Great snippet, Sarah!
She kind of grew on me, Siobhan. 🙂
Thank you!
Perhaps she’s not heading for a fall after all, if she’s showing glimmers of self-awareness.
That shoe looks painful! I never learnt how to walk in high heels, and don’t have the desire to do so given the unnatural position they push the foot into.
Perhaps not, Carrie-Anne. 😉
I agree with you about the shoes–heels like this are art objects, not walking ones!
I have to agree with the others, the last line is great. I think she’s on the road to being okay if she can just stay on it. Interesting snippet.
Thanks, Karen!
You may be right, though she’s going to be using her own maps. 😀
Oh my, the plot thickens;). You mentioned you removed two sentences in the middle. It doesn’t feel like anything is missing and I love the last line. It definitely hooks the reader into continuing on. Great 8.
They were just dialogue tags, really, so if it read well, I may not bother. 🙂
Thanks, Tina!
Daddy issues, eh? Adds an interesting wrinkle to the conversation and suggests some past baggage someone is going to have to deal with. Nice.
Many of them, yes, and a whole pile of Louis Vuitton. 🙂
Thanks, Jeff!
You’ve set an intriguing scene. The back and forth dialogue reveals so much about Leda.
Thanks, Charmaine. 🙂
I’m beginning not like Daddy at all. 🙂
Good! He’s not very likeable . . . unless he needs your vote. 😀
I’m almost feeling sorry for her. Looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.
That’s allowed, Kate. She’s a mess, but there are reasons. 🙂
(The shoe is gorgeous!) Loved the excerpt because it gave us more information and a bit better picture of Leda as a person…can’t wait to read the entire story!
(I know, right? 🙂 ) Thanks, Veronica!
Leda surprised me along the way . . .
OK. I gotta say it. This eight sentence a week thing is killing me! Gimmie a chapter!
It’s killing me, too, Mike. 🙂
And you’re one of the few people who’s already read a whole chapter—two of ’em, I think.
Yep. Two. Now gimme more.
“Drop and gimme twenty paragraphs! Move it, writer! Go, go, go!”
If ever a shoe is a swan, that one is!
There are some depths to her, after all. I wonder what she did to deserve not being okay. I’m already not liking her dad–I’d say Tom should ignore him, except then I won’t know what Daddy Dearest wants.
It really is! 😀
Tom’s going to do his best, but you know bad guys. They’re insistent. 😛
Love, love the shoe, but I’m not so sure about Daddy.
Daddy would benefit from having a pointy shoe thrown at him, Elaine. 😀
Oh, now I’m starting to like Leda- damn you! I was probably already biased in her favor by that gorgeous shoe. Gimme! 👠
Sorry! 🙂
It’s kind of her in Blahnik form, isn’t it?
(How did you do that shoethingie?!)
It (and a bunch more) came with my iPhone, so i can only use it when I post from my phone. 🐣 But no swans, or ducks! 😿
Darn. I can do some X-rated stuff in ASCII, but that’s the total of my non-smiley talents. 😀
As far as I’m concerned, they’re the most important iPhone feature! My husband wants to get me a new phone and was showing me nifty Samsung gewgaws and such, but I can’t even consider a change because I can no longer express myself without them. 😱 Especially that one. I saw The Scream emoji (and Kitty Scream 🙀) and became an Apple customer for life. 🍎
Really pulled me in. Great snippet.
Thanks, Cecilia.
Ahhh … that last line intrigued me … well done on the dialogue … and perfect shoe pic 😉
Thanks, Iris! 🙂
It really is a beautiful shoe . . . sigh . . .
Love the way you’re weaving the different people into the narrative. Leda is a much more sympathetic character once her father’s behavior is revealed.
Thanks, Gem. I hope so. 🙂