My eight-year old, Sunny, has a way of confounding expectations in the best possible way.
It’s her superpower.
___________________________
All’s Fair in Love and Goldfish
During the Morning commute:
“We had a lot of fun at recess this week, Mommy.”
“What are you doing? Playing superheroes?”
“No. We’ve been getting married.”
“All of you?”
“Pretty much. Yesterday, Jennie married Gavin and Melissa married Jack.”
“With actual ceremonies? Or just cake?”
“The church words. We take turns saying the awfully married wife stuff.”
“And the boys are okay with this?”
“Not always. We had to tackle Colin.”
“Did you get in trouble?”
“No. The groom gets half the bride’s snack after recess, so they’re usually okay with it once they’re caught. It’s just, Colin doesn’t like peanut butter crackers, so he wanted to marry me instead of Sophie.”
“Did you accept his proposal?”
“No way! I like goldfish crackers way too much to get married!”
ooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooo
A recent triumphant shout from the bathroom:
“Once again, the Toilet Paper of Justice has wiped the Butt of EEEEeeevil!”
(Wouldn’t that make a terrific Proctor & Gamble ad?)
ooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooo
Super Mom
For Mother’s Day, I received this poster:
It reads:
My Mom is great. My Mom is cool. My Mom is better than any Mom on earth.
My Mom can do anything! My Mom is as smart as a stegosaurus which has two brains.
My Mom can’t lose. My Mom is the best. I love my Mom because she snuggles like a pro.
My Mom is a SUPERHERO.
—
On the next page, there’s a form reporting that I’m as strong as a hippo,
as smart as the aforementioned stegosaurus
(no mention that the stego’s second brain is installed in the rear),
brave as a mountain lion,
And that I have the Power to Snuggle.
My only weakness?
Work.
—
Yeah, I teared up. This kind of thing is pure kryptonite.
ooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooo
Bad Mommy
I tucked Sunny in last night at she wanted a snuggle, so I climbed in.
“Ow!” I said, shifting to extract an Elsa doll, a transformer ball, a Dr. Who My Little Pony, three books, a flashlight, an empty bottle of bubble solution, two Pokemon figurines, and a handful of sharp-edged Legos.
“You have an awful lot of non-sleeping stuff in this bed,” I said, dropping everything all over the side.
“Mommy!” Sunny said, “You’re getting my room all messy!”
Earful of Cider 