Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (Guilt)

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Tom is finally coming out of the flashback he’s been having for the past two Sundays.  But that doesn’t mean we get to snap right back to the plot, like it never happened.

A paragraph or so after last week, Tom is back in his lawn chair with a cold bottle of water:


“Better?” Turner asked.

“Yes and no,” I said, exhausted and embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be a dumbass,” Turner told me, before going back to the grill.

Dad watched me as I got back into the chair, gripped my shoulder in a way that gave me the benefits of a hug without the fuss, and went to tell Turner what he was doing wrong.

Bryan and I sat in silence for a while.

“Tala and I triggered you,” he said, staring at the bottle in his hand. “We should go.”

“No,” I said. “No, this isn’t your fault; it happens.”


I know the image has little to do with this snippet, unless you’re in a particularly metaphorical mood, but not even for you lovely people would I risk searching the Interwebz for an image of a “dumbass”.  The term is a tad too subjective for my blood pressure.

In other news, I’m going to see “Inside Out” for a delayed birthday present today with my family, so I may be a little late in commenting today, what with the movie and the probable popcorn overdose!


43 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Odd Duck (Guilt)

  1. I love “Don’t be a dumbass,” Turner told me, before going back to the grill. (And Tom’s father going to tell him what he’s doing wrong. LOL I guess even men can backseat cook.) (Also, “the benefits of a hug without the fuss” is awesome.)

  2. I really like all the compassion and love being shown here, in small subtle ways. Beautifully done, Sarah. 🙂

  3. Excellent excerpt and I thought all the action and dialog were highly believable. I could certainly put myself in the scene as if I was there! Of course I want to know more because I love this story…

  4. I know i’ve said it before, but i love Turner. Dad is pretty cool too. ❤

    I thought you meant us to see something in the clouds–a clue to what's coming next maybe? But i don't see any animals. 😉

  5. Wonderful support as dad is being dad – the touch to the shoulder and the (unnecessary?) guidance for Turner. And Bryan’s remorse while staring at the bottle is poignant. Great way of showing the relationships.
    Happy Birthday and enjoy the movie and the popcorn.

    • Someone suggested that I should make him work for this on-page–that this reads like a sequel. I’m thinking Tom gets tortured enough. 🙂

  6. It’s nice to see Tom being helped by loved ones, and that he can come down from a panic attack without being incapacitated for the rest of the day.

  7. So sorry for such a delayed response this week around. I’m playing catch up on Sunday Snippets.

    Loved the line about not being a dumbass and how you worded the shoulder grip. Great snippet that hits just how people think and more. Now I’m interested to know what triggered the episode. Or did you already reveal that in a previous snippet and I can’t remember?

    • No problem–and thanks! 🙂

      The trigger was a description of his brother’s capture (I think the start may be in the previous snippet to this one), plus a nearby argument from the house.

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