It’s been a while since I last posted… a year and nearly ten months, holy cow…but I have one hell of an excuse.
I think. You be the judge:
If you haven’t read my last post or you don’t remember it, you might do that now. I’ll wait.
Yeah, so it turns out that the pancreatitis thing wasn’t over yet. In fact, at my very next checkup, the doctor took one look at me and ordered me directly to the nearest ER. Who had me airlifted for emergency surgery to a hospital an hour away.
The surgeon, the incredible Dr. S, did her best to piece my insides back together–from what I was told later, it was a bit like tatting lace. Things had melted to other things and had to be pried…well, never mind.
That was September 4th.
Since then, I’ve had five major surgeries (only three planned), about twelve procedures under general anesthesia, and countless adjustments, stitches, rebagging (think ileostomies and colostomies) and retubings. At one point, I was sporting approximately eight drains around my waist, a hula skirt from hell.
Coincidentally, my torso looks a bit like target practice for a small, hungry shark packing a twenty-two.
I spent around eight months in various hospitals, under various levels of sedation and the really good painkillers.* Not to mention various Dante-like circles of PT, learning to sit up and maybe do a little walking, as someone followed me with a wheelchair, just in case.
When I left the first hospital, for a specialty one nearer to home, the nurses and staff lined the corridor and gave me a standing ovation… because (i was told much later) most of them weren’t sure I would make it.
That changes a person, knowing that kind of thing, even more than the 140 pound weight loss (I didn’t eat anything by mouth for a long time), or my new 4-inch belly button. Or having to resign from my beloved job (who am I, if I’m not a librarian?)
I couldn’t write for the longest time, either, even after I came home, this time possibly for good, two months ago. I was tired and empty and in quite a bit of pain.
But bit by bit, I’m getting stronger. I walk a little every day, sometimes without my walker. I no longer have a stomach tube and am down to six medications, only one of which is longer than my thumbnail.
Money and insurance are worrisome, buy I’m working on applying for Medicaid and Social Security. I’m also looking for a stay-at-home job that doesn’t involve stuffing envelopes or fraudulent practices.
And better yet, I have incredibly supportive friends who have stuck with me through all this mess (including those of you who keep asking me when I’ll be blogging again–this is all your fault!)
And I’m writing again. Maybe not well, but there are words now, and sentences, and maybe stories, too, however rusty and convoluted.
And I am here. Battered and bruised but not beaten.
How have y’all been?
*It is a terrible thing to put someone with a fraught imagination on heavy drugs when they have no outlet. At one point, and I’m not kidding, I refused to wear my socks because I was convinced they were pregnant…and when they died in childbirth (because they aren’t built for it, obviously), I tried to convince the nurse to call a funeral home so they could have a decent burial. She’ll be telling that story for decades; I should be getting royalties.
28 thoughts on “So. That happened…”
Oh! Oh ! The joy of seeing a post from you in my inbox. You are Wonder Woman ! Welcome back ! Xxxooo
It’s great to be writing again, Downith. I’ve missed you all! ❤
Oh it is so wonderful to hear from you again! I was so worried, I was afraid to ask how you were more than once, but please know I’ve thought of you often and have hoped and prayed I’d see you here again. Welcome back. Please write absolutely anything you feel up to writing. I am so very glad that you are well enough be back here that I shall do a little dance here in your honor, a thank you dance to the powers that made it possible for you to come back.
Hi, Nancy! A dance? For me? That’s a wonderful welcome!
Damn, I missed you. And I am so very glad you’re on the mend. (And blogging again! BTW: was I one of the pesty people who kept asking about your blog? ‘Cause that sure sounds like something I’d do.)
Take it easy, my friend. Use your newfound time at home to write that werewolf duck detective noir thing! I really wanna know how it turns out.
Ugh. Am I being pesty again? Sorry!
Pest away, Mike! And I missed you, too.
I have no choice but to take it easy…but posting felt good !
I’m so glad to see you writing a little again, Sarah. I’m so glad you made it through. And for the record, you’ll always be a librarian whether someone pays you or not. 😉
Thanks, Siobhan. I suppose you’re right, though a paycheck would still be nice…😊
Hi, John! I’ve missed you!
And I just found my Chnott-cross stitch project yesterday. When I can, I’m going to start it up again–it’ll be good therapy for me!
Sarah! So glad that you’ve found your way back to writing. I’ve missed your stories and your opinions. I’ll hold you to that cross stitch protect! Looking forward to seeing it.
Welcome back, Sarah! So glad you are writing again. And are home.
Hi, Dee! Home is definitely where the healing is, believe me! 🙂
Hey there! I’m so glad you are on the mend!! And writing again. I’m so sorry you have endured at least 3 levels of Dante’s hell..at least that is what it sounds like. Take care my dear and keep on getting better!! 😉😉😉
Thank you, Courtney! Though I was probably unconscious for the worst levels… or hallucinating…
Love you Sarah, am so pleased you are back here!
Love you, too! Feels good to be back! ❤
Thank you my dear! Very well done – on all accounts. This post made me unbelievably happy :3
Thanks, ‘Mausi, for everything. I owe you my sanity, or what’s left of it! ❤
Sarah!!!! I’m so so SO glad to hear your voice! What a scary time for you and your family. I hope you keep getting better and that you keep writing. We’ve missed you! Xoxo
Hi, Averil! I’ve missed you, too, so much! ❤
We don’t know each other well, by “Snippet sunday” only, but I’ve missed you and I’m glad you’ve come through this horrible experience – i’m sure bigger (or smaller in your case it seems) and stronger!
I look forward to reading all your wonderful new stories, may they be one sentence, a paragraph, or a page..
Let me raise a glass … Welcome back !
I’ve missed everyone’s snippets–and the comeraderie–as well. I can’t wait to get back into the game!
First time reading about your incredible journey.
God bless the ground you walk on, (with or without a walker).
Thank you, Carolynn. 🙂
I’m so glad to hear you’re okay, even if things haven’t been very easy. I hope your recovery continues, and you’re able to eventually get back to your normal writing pace. It’s often hard to get back in the normal swing of things after a long illness or huge life interruption.
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