Random Thursday: Zombies and Monsters and Bad Jokes, Oh My!

It’s Random! It’s Thursday! It’s Random Thursday!

And there’s a certain Halloween tingle in the air, as if you broke into the candy you bought for the trick-or-treaters and absorbed so much sugar-boosted serotonin that your neurons are triple-firing and the whole world is vibrating around you . . . 

Oh.  Wait.

Yeah.

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Ironically, this is probably why all those zombies will be so desperate to find brains in the first place.

Generation Zombie

Just sayin’.

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How Many Vampires does it take to Change a Lightbulb?

Batty

None.

They like the dark.

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Frankenyummies!

Frankenyummy lineup

The unusual suspects . . .

Just take some vanilla pudding, a little food coloring, some tragically abused Oreo cookies,
a Watson, a Jane, and a Sunny.

Mix thoroughly, decant into plastic cups, and apply a permanent marker,
and you get a dessert that’s almost too weird to eat . . .

Frankenyummies

 . . . Almost.

.Frankenempties

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Better Watch Out

Made you look!

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Get This ( Halloween) Party Started

The amazing Dame Shirley Bassey,* ladies and gentlemen,
backed by the Broccoli-Saltzman James Bond Title  Song Dancers.
Apparently.

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Scariest Pumpkin Ever

First World Scare

Holy cow, Man—don’t do that!

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 Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

ghost bag

Because you can see right through them!

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This PSA Brought to You by the Horror Movie Association

“Safely raising heart rates since 1895 or so,** without all that bothersome exercise”

Remember kids—just say no to fresh air.

That stuff—or the stuff in that stuff—will kill you.

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Happy Halloween!

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*Yes, you know who she is, even if you don’t think you do.

**Not kidding—Thomas Edison filmed a 15 second snuff film that year that some think qualifies as the first ever horror film, though it was probably just meant to be a historical reinactment of the execution of Mary Stewart. The next year, movie magic had advanced to the point that the first definitely-on-purpose horror film could be made: Le Manoir du Diable.

Happy Halloween!

Winky Wesson likes to flirt.

You’ll be happy to know that my husband managed to keep that giant bag of Hershey mini-bars intact.  I still don’t know where he hid them,* but he’s been appointed Official Guardian of the kids’ Christmas presents.

At this posting, I should be driving slowly home in the hopes that he’ll beat me home and win neighborhood escort duty for two costumed kids who’re already well sugar-rushed from their school parties.

This year, Janie is a dark-haired Gothic Queen,** with a black and red velvet scarf—chopped off from the bottom of her dress, which was a foot too long— thrown around her neck.  and Sunny is a Batgirl with curly blond hair, a mask she’d wear to bed if we let her, and bright, bat-signal-yellow tights.***

I actually did dress up this year, adding a pair of red plastic devil horns to my usual toner-colored ensemble,^  which prompted this conversation at work:

“Hey, Sarah, you glue those things on?”

“Nah, I thought I’d grow ‘em out for the holidays.”

“Ha ha ha! Um. . . Really?”

Maaaaaaybe.

Have a thrilling Halloween!^^

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* Not that I was looking, you understand . . .

** Because she hates the Batwing collar and plastic dentures parts of her Vampire Queen costume.  If she’d waited for me to take her to the cheaper Halloween store, she could have gone as the Spider Empress, with rings and webby faux earrings and a silver spider yo-yo. . . but no.  I do have to admit that she looks disturbingly good in blood red.

***We Love Colors is an amazing source for tights in tough-to-find colors in just about every size—no joke. They’re pricey, but even my kids outgrow the lycra ones before they wear ‘em out. I’ve been known to wear a pair, and tights and I have had a non-aggression pact since the mid-eighties.

^ That’s as good as it gets, folks— no one’s paying me in free candy.

^^No, this isn’t our house.  We like our neighbors.