Random Thursday: Time Suck of Thrones and some Educated Eggdicators

It’s Random Thursday so I’m shelling out (HEY-o!) my new favorite Time Suck, some questionable Latin, and some eggcellent yolks.

Yeah, I don’t know, either, but ab absurdum seems to cover it . . . 

______________________

House Time Suck

I don’t have HBO and for several reasons—only one of which involves Sean Bean’s inevitable death—I think I’m going to give Game of Thrones a miss, though it’s nearly impossible to avoid memes and mentions if you spend more than five minutes online.

But I’ll admit the House Sigils are pretty cool. And that I spent several hours quite some time on Join the Realm making up my own:

House Wesson Alt

And if you really want to lose an hour or two, google “Funny Latin Phrases.”

Ego te provoco.

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

Not Eggsactly

Jada Swissiedog is suffering from tummy troubles, and has been put on a rice-and-boiled-egg-based diet.

The other day, Watson was boiling a batch of eggs while she made dinner for the rest of us.

Jane came in. “Ooo, can I have an egg?”

“No,” Watson said.  “The humans are having chicken.”

“Oh.” Jane thought a minute. “Then can I have one of the younger chickens?”

Deutsch: Ei in Eierbecher

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

Concordia Discors

House Samiam

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

If the Ovum Fits . . . 

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“If Easter Bunnies ever create their own government, will they have a Lettuce-lative Branch?”

“You mean to balance the Egg-secutive?”

“Mooom!  You’re such a nerd.”

English: Rabbit shape Français : Silhouette d'...

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

Cacoethes Internet

House Wifi

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

In Which Breakfast is Eggsplained

In Which Breakfast is Eggsplained
And you can’t have any—they’re for the dog.

oooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooo

And We Have a Winner!

Because Janie helped . . .

House Sarah2

 

Poetry Wednesday: Oops!

After last night’s venture into the sunshine-rainbow world of abnormal hematology, I desperately needed to read something  fun, lighthearted, and easily understood without the aid of a medical dictionary.

Luckily, I knew where such a something could be found.

When my parents came to visit a few weeks ago, one of the first things Mom did* was hand me a large book of poetry. She said it was for the kids, but her grin told me otherwise.  I opened it to a random page, read over it, and said, “Hey, you all have to hear this!  And this one . . . and this!”  The entire family, including my mother-in-law, was giggling within five verses. 

Oops! is a collection of clever and delightfully silly poems written by Alan Katz, who, before writing twenty or so hilarious books for children, compiled a seriously impressive resume as a humor writer.    As if that weren’t enough, Oops! is illustrated by Edward Koren.  Yeah—the Ed Koren.

My kids have asked me to read this collection all the way through almost every evening—“You missed one, Mommy, go back!”—since it came into the house.

They don’t do this for Shel Silverstein.

The clincher, as far as I’m concerned,  is that I don’t mind.  It isn’t easy to write material for children that doesn’t send adults into eye-twitch territory halfway through the fourth repetition,** but Mr. Katz appears to have no trouble at all.   

And in the back of Oops!, after a much-appreciated index, is an essay describing how Mr. Katz began his career as a humor writer—complete with elementary school report cards—came to write poetry, and how the poems in this collection were selected.  Janie and I found this fascinating,  especially his challenge to guess which poem was written, in its entirety, on the potty.***

Here, with permission,^ are a few of my writing-related favorites^^ from Oops!:

Everybody Comma Down!
(Alan Katz, ©2008)

The English teacher was in pain
while teaching punctuation.
He had to end the PERIOD
With pain and aggravation.
“My stomach hurts,” he said in QUOTES.
“I think it’s really swollen.”
He DASHed for surgery, and now—
He has a SEMICOLON.

This next selection is the only one of the bunch that can’t be read aloud—it’s more of a visual.

Why? Huh? Why?
(Alan Katz, ©2008)

Why doesn’t cough
rhyme with rough?
And same thing with
trough
and enough?
It’s all so confusing!
From now on I’m choosing
to skip this ridiculous
Stough.

And at the risk of abusing Mr. Katz’s generosity, I can’t resist adding Sunny’s favorite, which has led her to requesting a certain dish for breakfast every morning for two weeks and doing the eggy-dance, which has to be seen to be believed:

NO EGGS-Aggeration!
(Alan Katz, ©2008)

I’m writing a love song
to eggs.
They don’t have eyes,
they don’t have legs.
They cannot sing,
they cannot dance.
You cannot keep them
In your pants.
But they’re my friends,
is what I’ve rambled.
I love them so . . .
especially scrambled!

 If you and your brood end up loving this stuff as much as we do, Mr. Katz has another collection (also illustrated by Mr. Koren) coming out on October 25th—Poems I Wrote When No One Was Looking. 

We can’t wait!

___

*  After hugs, a bathroom visit, and the restocking of our fridge and cupboards . . .

** Or, in the case of Runny Babbit, halfway through the first.

***  Janie and  Sunny think it’s “Reel Trouble.”  I think it’s “Did He take a MacBath?”  Mr. Katz?

^I e-mailed Mr. Katz very late last night, asking if I might share a couple of my favorite poems here.  I assumed that I would hear back in a few weeks, if at all—but this morning, I received a very nice reply and kind consent.  How cool is that?

^^ Janie wanted me to  include the one about passing gas in church, mostly for the pun in the last line, but you’re going to have to look that one up yourself.