Ode to the Cephalopod Mollusc Contest Winner!!


Poet Mug

Nine people sent me octopus poems, six in the comments, three via e-mail.

Some were playful, some wistful, some absolutely stunning, most silly as all get out, and one unspeakable in polite company.*

Rhinestone cowgirl

All names went into the Pink Cowgirl Hat of Win—some twice, because they earned extra points—once I pulled it back into shape,  but only one was chosen:

Independentclause, whose wry doggerel (pun totally intended) refers to my most recent culinary efforts (I hope):

 I once had a dog who ate spaghetti raw,
never once did she get it stuck in her craw.
She would have liked it better
in a hot-dog sweater
snatched from the plate of your mother in law.

Congratulations, Indy!  Send me the link to your mug of choice and your address and I’ll get it sent.

And thanks to all of you who played along on such short notice and humored my octopus fugue.


*Y’all have heard me speak here before about Kev.  He truly is a lovely guy, but what do you do with a man who is incapable of passing up rhyming ‘mollusks’ with ‘bollocks’?

Random Thursday: LEGOing Looms, Defending Socks, and that Essential Touch of Glass

It’s Thursday.  It’s Random.  It’s Random Thursday.


It’s a loom. Made out of LEGO.

You would think this would get boring after the first thirty seconds.  But it actually doesn’t.

Beats those elastic-loop potholder frames by miles, doesn’t it?



Octopus Knot

I’ve had three wonderful people e-mail me their contest poems, but in the comments of yesterday’s post, there is naught but whistling wind.

Where is the love? Where is the Octopodean verse?

You have until midnight Chicago time tonight! There’s a free mug at stake!

Simple Haiku Mug

Go forth and find rhymes for eight, ink, calamari, squishy, and Blue-Rings of Death!

And post them here!


Sock Defenders!

An alternate theory explaining the disappearance of socks

and why cats are so interested in sitting on one’s clean laundry.

You know those kittens are going to catch it for messing up the drawers.

That’s why adult cats are so cynical.


Dropping the Pigeon

Pigeon Lost

I’m probably going to have to retitle Pigeon Drop, as there is no longer a literal pigeon drop scam in it and the metaphor is a bit of a stretch.

Dang it.


A Touch of Glass Class

Simply beautiful.


What are you waiting for?  Go write an octopus poem!

Poetry Wednesday: Ode to the Cephalopod Mollusc Contest!

Octopus DiveTell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I’d call me Us.

—Ogden Nash

You know there’s an unfortunate lack of poems about a certain subject when I’m forced to resort to Odgen Nash, who was a clever, playful, and undeniably talented man whose utter disregard for meter drives me batguano insane.*

We shall not speak of how quick that trip must be for a woman who spent the better part of two hours searching for octopus poetry.

Instead, we shall agree that it’s clearly time for another Try It Yourself Poetry Contest!

The rules, as usual, are simple:  Write me an octopus poem. 

Don’t care what kind, dore care what quality—but there should be at least four lines.  And if your references go beyond nudge, nudge, wink wink, e-mail it to me, please.**

There will also be double points awarded for rhyming one of the Latin classifications and for using one or more particular biological quirks of a specific cephalopod mollusc (make sure I know which one, please).Glass Octopus

Is such a funny fella
He plays at being naive and prim
But everyone can see right through him . . .


OctomugIf you accept this challenge and post the poem or a link to your own place in the comments—or e-mail them to me —your name will be entered into the Pink Cowgirl Hat of Win for a chance to own the regular-sized Cafepress mug of your choice,*** which doesn’t have to feature an octopus—but c’mon, how cool would that be?

This one is gonna be quick:  contest starts now and ends midnight (CST) on Thursday

Winner will be selected and announced on Friday.

Tell your friends!^


*Not that I don’t appreciate a few of his poems, or at least what he was saying in them, but those are a rare exception—this is one of ’em.

**Kev, you’re still on limerick suspension.  I’m not joking.  And any graphic references to hentai will be passed on to your mother.

***Or an online gift card, if you prefer not to supply your postal address or CafePress won’t ship to your country, though so far, so good.

^If you’re related to me by blood or marriage, you aren’t eligible for this contest, sorry—but if you enter, at least I’ll know what to get you for your birthday.