Random Thursday: Erinaceinae Emeritus, Suckered Sandalium, and Monomorium Moratoriums*

Random Thursday (ˈrandəm ˈTHərzdā): the day on which Sarah plunks down all the odd bits and pieces she’s been sent by friends or has otherwise stumbled upon this week in an effort to avoid writing a real post, the assembly of which usually ends up taking twice as much time as sitting down and creating actual content.

Sorry about skipping Tuesday’s post.  I was too busy avoiding anything to do with writing—like a boss, might I add.

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 Ahem

I certainly understand why this might make someone a bit prickly . . .

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Candy Ants

So.

The ants came marching one by . . . one thousand . . .  into our kitchen last weekend.

Our regular exterminator is out sick and his sub couldn’t get here until this afternoon.

Which means I’ve been phantom itchy for days.
I’ve been scratching and slapping at hordes of absent insects
like an imaginative hypochondriac with ants crawling all over her kitchen.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate all the things that ants do, like keeping the termites from moving in and breaking down the soil and upholding the matriarchy and all that.

But I’m ready to take a flamethrower to the pantry, just to make sure . . .

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Pure Mashy Brilliance

My only complaint is that we can’t get a clear look at Hawkeye.

I’m betting if we could, he’d be Toto.

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Octopodia

I’m Gonna Need Seven More of These . . .

 . . . and a Chiropractor.

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Nope, Nope, Nopidy, Nope, Nope.

Unless he eats ants.

Then I’d totally give him the run of the kitchen
and fond thoughts from my nearby hotel room.

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Tying it All Together**

Kev:  You Thursdayed up?

Me:  I need another video.

Kev: What do you have so far?

Me:  Well . . .

Five minutes later, in my inbox:

Well, played, Earworm King.  Well played.

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* Hey, if I had to look all of this up, you have to look it up.

** Except the other video.  But that’s where the random comes in, right?

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Random Thursday: Variables, Miracles, and a Hidden Squid

Random is as random does.

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In Case You Were Wondering:

(Yeah, Vonnie—you got me)

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Sarah’s Spirit Couch

Judge me all you want, but let’s call a spud a spud.

‘Cause “spud” is fun to say.

Spud, spud, spud, spud, spud, spud, squid, spud, spud, spud, spud, spud . . .

See?

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Mathematical Brain Owies

Yes, this is cool.

No, I can’t even.

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How to Bring Out That Vein in Your Beloved’s Forehead

Look, you can see their heart beating,
right above their beautiful, bulging eyes,
just for you . . .

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Now, THIS is Math I Can Get Behind

So to speak.

This had Janie on the floor laughing.

I’m expecting a call from her leadership camp any minute now.

In other news, I’ve stopped assembling Thursday posts with my headphones on . . .

(Dang it, Kev—quit undermining my parental authority)

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Ice, Ice Baby:

Marty Ray-–who reminds me of my BIL in more than one way—is a true magician.

Behold, for he hath performed the miracle of the age:

Right?

(Thanks, Roy!)

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Wondering about the hidden squid?

It’s in here somewhere.

Go back and look—I’ll wait.

Random Thursday: Everything is Awesome!

Random Thursday (ˈrandəm ˈTHərzdā): the day on which Sarah plunks down all the odd bits and pieces she’s been sent by friends or has otherwise stumbled upon this week in an effort to avoid writing a real post, the assembly of which usually ends up taking twice as much time as sitting down and creating actual content.

No charge for the earworm!

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Best Wedding Cake Ever—Lego Division

According to the Facebook page of Cupcakes by S-J,
which is (who is?) based in Basingstoke,
credit for this cake goes to the owner of the page and her father.

Looks like everything IS cool, when you’re part of a team.

Especially cake!

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And all this time, I was just saving the ears and the tail . . .

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One Duck, Snoring

That’s it.  That’s the video.

You watched it twice, didn’t you?  Just to show someone else?  Thought so.

(Thanks, Teresa!)

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RANDOM MUST HAVE OF THE WEEK:

“Mom!  I have to show you this!”
“What?”
“This!  Watch this!”
“Huh.  Yeah,  that’s a neat ide—oh, wow!”

Picture a hot glue gun—the kind where the dried glue sticks go in one end and hot glue comes out the other in a guided flow.

Make the glue gun pen shaped.  And swap the glue sticks for colored plastic.

Like this:

And then draw with it.

Like this:

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Jane and I are already pricing them.

Considering the cost of 3D printers, this freestyle pen is completely reasonable, and the refill costs aren’t too bad, either . . . unless you’re a Wesson and spent half an hour pouring over the possibilities.

“Mom!  We need ALL THE COLORS!  In ALL THE TYPES!!”
” . . . yeah, I know . . .”

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 RESPECT

Johanna Colón, center stage, proves that on that dark day when Aretha is no longer with us,
she will still be with us.

Random Thursday: Roses and Gnomenclature

Random Thursday (ˈrandəm ˈTHərzdā): the day on which Sarah plunks down all the odd bits and pieces she’s been sent by friends or has otherwise stumbled upon this week in an effort to avoid writing a real post, the assembly of which usually ends up taking twice as much time as sitting down and creating actual content.

This post was made possible through timely and weirdly synchronous e-mails from caitlin and liligrif, who have been keeping me in random for a while now.

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I’m a Doctor, Gnome, not a . . . never mind

Trek Gnomes are the brainchildren of the lovely weirdos over at ThinkGeek.

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A Bouquet of Roses for Who(m)?

Yes!

(and also for Lyra, because I miss her)

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March of the Gnome-Eaters

My friend Caitlin, who is an amazing writer (see?),
sent these to me last month because she saw them and thought of me,
or, rather, my caffeine gnomes:

I hope she was thinking of the gnomes . . .

Seriously, these Gnome Eaters—
or Gnome Be Gones, as they’re professionally called—
are the awesome, though they remind me more of my caffeine gnomes themselves
than of something that will ward them off.

Either way, I love them.

If you love them, too—
or will admit a weird fascination with them—
check out metal-artist Fred Conlon’s website at Sugarpost.com.

Thanks, Caitlin!

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Random Dance of Victory

Technically, Keith Apicary, who is one of the alter egos (or alter ids) of actor and dancer Nathan Barnatt, is not a gnome.  Or a rose.

But he’s certainly random:

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The Year of Gnomage

A few years ago, artist Jessica Peill-Meininghaus pledged, amid the chaos of her life,
to make one felt gnome a day for an entire year.

She did this to teach herself about follow-through, the satisfaction of completing small things,
and, I assume, grim determination.
And also felt gnomes.

And then she wrote a book about it.

I haven’t read it yet—I put a hold on the library’s copy—but I already like it.

Not just because I could use a little follow-through in my own life,
but because her gnomes are exactly like the ones in my old, tattered, much beloved,  field guide:

When I was a kid, I pored over this guide and searched the woods for signs of them.
Since I knew would probably never meet one for real, I begged my parents night and day would have happily settled for a Gnome doll.

My mother, who had started my obsession by buying me Wil Huygen’s guide, drove me a long way to a special toy store that supposedly carried them, but when we got there, the content of the box looked more like a befreckled Dopey in a fake beard than the dignified denizen of the forest I was expecting.

I declined and she agreed—and bought me several little china renditions, instead.  I still have ’em.

But it looks like Ms. Peill-Meininghaus has provided the solution to my childhood wish.

Maybe I’ll give myself a year to figure out how to make one . . .

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Stick Figure FTW!

Jane showed me the first one of these, and I ended up following them through to the inevitable end, which is my favorite.

Again, not a gnome nor a rose, but totally random BAMFery:

Random Thursday: In a Random Mood

Random Thursday (ˈrandəm ˈTHərzdā): the day on which Sarah plunks down all the odd bits and pieces she’s been sent by friends or has otherwise stumbled upon this week in an effort to avoid writing a real post, the assembly of which usually ends up taking twice as much time as sitting down and creating actual content.

Look what I found in a folder on my desktop when I was trying to find my original draft of chapter seventeen!

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How to make Sewing Fun Again

Just take the arc reactor out of the cryhole, blue line it, attach it to the bobbinator, and pop out the dilithium crystal so you don’t abuse the quaffle with the uppydowny or snap the snitch when you let ‘er rip with the flounce attachment.

Wow . . . that sounds way more suggestive than I’d intended.

Then again, it is supposed to be more fun, so . . .

(one of you sent me this—who?)

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Save the Death Bats!

Because pollinators are so very important to our ecosystem, the U.S. now has a National Pollinator Health Strategy.

I am 100% behind this, especially if we can get some government power (such as it is) behind saving bees and bats.

However . . .

. . . it occurs to me that while this fuzzy yellow guy is clearly a major contributor to the process of pollination,
not to mention absolutely adorable,
as many bats are,
he is also caked with pollen,
which makes him one of the deadliest creatures in the world,
to those of us with sinus problems.

The Ciiiiiiircle of Liiiiiiife . . .

(Cha Cha shared this on Facebook for serious reasons, which I subverted for a cheap laugh—unless you clicked the image to look at the National Pollinator Health Strategy, which would make me a marketing genius . . . and also feel less guilty)

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Sanford and Son were . . .  British?

That’s . . . weird.

I wonder if Elizabeth knew?

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Hey, Mike!

The man always had to have the last word, didn’t he?

If the rest of you want to know why I think Mr. Blanc’s gravestone is relevant, check this out.

And then do yourself a solid and go through the rest of Mike Allegra’s archives—
some of his stories have moved me to tears.

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Which Horseman of the Apocalypse are You?

Me?  I’m Procrastination.  Sorry I’m late . . .

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 I’d Tap That

But I’d fall down. A lot.