It’s Random! It’s Thursday! It’s Random Thursday!
And there’s a certain Halloween tingle in the air, as if you broke into the candy you bought for the trick-or-treaters and absorbed so much sugar-boosted serotonin that your neurons are triple-firing and the whole world is vibrating around you . . .
Ironically, this is probably why all those zombies will be so desperate to find brains in the first place.
How Many Vampires does it take to Change a Lightbulb?
They like the dark.
Just take some vanilla pudding, a little food coloring, some tragically abused Oreo cookies,
a Watson, a Jane, and a Sunny.
Mix thoroughly, decant into plastic cups, and apply a permanent marker,
and you get a dessert that’s almost too weird to eat . . .
. . . Almost.
Made you look!
Get This ( Halloween) Party Started
The amazing Dame Shirley Bassey,* ladies and gentlemen,
backed by the Broccoli-Saltzman James Bond Title Song Dancers.
Scariest Pumpkin Ever
Holy cow, Man—don’t do that!
Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
This PSA Brought to You by the Horror Movie Association
“Safely raising heart rates since 1895 or so,** without all that bothersome exercise”
Remember kids—just say no to fresh air.
That stuff—or the stuff in that stuff—will kill you.
*Yes, you know who she is, even if you don’t think you do.
**Not kidding—Thomas Edison filmed a 15 second snuff film that year that some think qualifies as the first ever horror film, though it was probably just meant to be a historical reinactment of the execution of Mary Stewart. The next year, movie magic had advanced to the point that the first definitely-on-purpose horror film could be made: Le Manoir du Diable.