My children have been Up To Something all weekend.
It started Friday, my day off, when I woke up from what was supposed to be a brief after-lunch snooze to discover that it was 5:30 pm. I stumbled into the living room and found my progeny playing quietly, together, with the TV off.
I stared at them for a minute, then shook off my confusion and asked why they hadn’t woken me with one of their usual methods* when they arrived home from school.
“Daddy and Grandma said we could, but you looked tired this morning, Mom,” said Janie.
“Yes, Mommy” said Sunny, patting my hand. “You need your rest.”
Um, okay. “Do you have homework, Jane?”
“Five pages of my French workbook. I’ve done two already. May I do the rest over the weekend, please?”
“Um, okay.” I stumbled off to make dinner, disquieted, but not yet alarmed.
When I came home from work the next day, I was greeting with excited hugs and the ten words guaranteed to strike despair in my housecleaning-hating heart: “Mommy! Come see what we did in the playroom!”
I had visions of a tent city made of every sheet in the house draped over all the chairs they could manage to lift or drag. . . or maybe the entire contents of our craft closet melded into a free-form modern art structure dripping glitter-glue onto the rug. Or maybe Janie and Sunny had painted masterpieces with their easels set up on the same rug.
But I went.
The room . . . was tidy. Neat. Organized. “You did this?”
“Yep!” said Janie.
“You did this.”
“Uh-huh. It took me a long time. Daddy helped with the vacuum cleaner, but I pushed it a little. Sunny’s job was throwing all her toys in her doll cradle—I sorted them out. I’m going to do our bedroom tomorrow. i would have done it today, but I got tired.”
“Um, Wow. I’m really impressed, honey. Good job! Did you get any of your French done? Or are you saving it for tomorrow?”
“Two pages. Only one to go. I’ll do it after church.” She scampered off.
I turned to my husband. “Uh . . . ”
“Wondering if these are the right kids?”
“Yeah. How did you get them to do it?”
“It was all Janie’s idea.”
“Really? What do you think she’s up to?”
He rubbed his chin. “I have no idea.”
The next day, both kids were angels during church. Janie made me spoon puppets during Sunday School. Neither groused when we we went straight home without stopping at Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, etc. Janie did her remaining homework with the merest hint of complaint.
And when I asked them if they wanted a snack, they asked for carrots.
“When is the other shoe going to drop?” I asked my husband later, as I left for work.**
He shook his head.
When I came home that evening,*** the floor of the kids’ bedroom was not only visible, but I was able to walk across it barefoot without risking serious injury.
“It’s not perfect, but it’s better,” said Janie when I applauded in bewilderment. “Sometimes the clean me has to tell the messy me to move over.”
I hadn’t known there was a clean Janie.
Later, they only complained a little about bath time and went to bed with less than the usual amount of fuss. They didn’t even ask for drinks of water or complain when I shoved the thermometer in their ears, just in case there was a Good Behavior Bug going around.
If it hadn’t been so cold, I would have grabbed my flashlight and hunted for Pods in the backyard.
And they were lovely this morning, too—Janie the UnMorning Person had her hair brushed and shoes on before she came to breakfast. And Sunny ate all of her toast and asked for more—even the crusts.
So, tell me, do you think we’re about to be hit up for something major or is this just one of those Eye of the Storm things?
Is there a Good Behavior Virus^? And if so, can it be isolated, generated, and put in a mister or something?
Because, despite my better judgement, I’m starting to like this . . .
*For example, climbing on the bed, getting nose to nose with me and hollering, “MAAAA-meeeeee. Wake UUUUUuuuuup!” Or using inoculation, which consists of prodding me in the arm with one sharp little digit until I give up or they poke through to the other side—and no, I’ve never tested their patience that far.
**I worked all weekend. Doens’t happen often, but it did put the kibosh on AWP. Next year . . .
***I little later than usual, as I’d gone to hear Grace play a solo at a music celebration. She rocked it as much as a hymn medley for two octaves of handbells can be rocked, which is actually quite a bit.
13 thoughts on “Conspiracy, Virus, or Alien Invasion: When Good kids Go . . .Better?”
Every now and again my daughter cleans her room to my specifications–without me having to name my specifications–and i am ALWAYS truly shocked, as if it’s a complete miracle that someone besides me can put every single thing away.
of course, i wished it happened a little more frequently so that i wouldn’t be so shocked.
It is a complete miracle with these kids, though I'll admit I'm the worst hypocrite ever about leaving piles of stuff everywhere.
Oooo! Maybe she’s rebelling! Wouldn’t that be great?
OK. Two possibilities. One, you and your husband should get out of the house pronto. You aren’t safe.
Two…I’m sending my three over to learn what shall now be known as “The Wesson Way”. I’d like to start a kid cult with your kids as the leaders. We can all fiend disgust so they keep it up. Is tomorrow good for you?
Is there a third option? Because unless I’m right and there’s a virus or pods or something your kids can catch or be caught by . . . we have no idea what the “Wesson Way” would be.
I truly, truly thought you were going to end this post by telling us that you were sick and had been having fever induced dreams all weekend. Am I a bad person?
No, you’re a writer who has a terrific grasp of narrative structure.
Unfortunately, real life isn’t and doesn’t! 😀
You’re a good mom. You have good kids and they’re smart, Sarah. Maybe they just felt like impressing you. Or maybe when the temperature goes up you should still case the backyard. I would also think pods might hide in closets, toy bins and wet corners of bathroom. Bask, but beware. 🙂
“Bask, but beware.”
Good advice, Lisa! 🙂
Spooky. And adorable.
My little guy has been suspiciously quiet lately, but every time I peek in on him, he’s got his nose in a book. (Actually, in a Kindle, but still.)
Please bottle this virus and drop it in the ocean. I’ll be waiting over here to retrieve it.
Sunny used me as a tissue this morning—I’ll send over my good blouse as soon as I get home . . . 😛
OK, getting here late in the game, so I have to ask: Did the other shoe drop?
I’m hoping not, but if they’re anything like my kids were, it’s bound to be a heavy, steel-toed boot…
Well . . . the floor of her bedroom is once again covered with every shoe she and her sister own, if that counts . . .
But the homework is all being done and she’s practicing her piano without being asked. So I don’t know. She must be going for something amazing.