Have a WIP, an EIP, an MS, or a published work you want to share on your blog, eight to ten sentences at a time?
Want to sample other people’s WIPs, EIPs, MSs, or published works, eight to ten sentences at a time?
Be a Weekend Writing Warrior!
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Or if you’re a fellow Facebook addict (we can quit any time we want to, right?),
why not check out the offerings of the Snippet Sunday gang?
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This week’s snippet is about three pages after last week’s, since Our Wereduck Hero Tom Mahon and his brother Bryan the Werewolf need to have a discussion about plottish things, like the Big Bad Antagonist, who has been tracking Bryan across the country and also sent a killer werewolf after Tom in the first chapter of this book.
And, you know, why (Easy answer: to give my characters something to do).
They’re interrupted by a scream from the house; it seems Tala, Bryan’s half-feral co-escapee from the Big Bad, has not instantly adjusted to life in the suburbs.
“That’s Tala’s decision,” Bryan said, turning to her. “But you will be polite about refusing. And if you raise a claw to Mom or Jackie again—“ He frowned at Jackie, who closed her mouth. “I’ll have to make other arrangements for you.”
“You won’t send me away,” she said, the certainty in her voice competing with her clenched fists.
“I don’t want to send you away,” he said, “but I need to know you’ll be safe. This is the safest place I know.”
“Safe,” she said, her lip curling. “You say that like it’s a real thing.”
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Teenagers are a universal thing, apparently.
I’m not actually sure how old Tala is (still shaking out the timeline) but most of of her years were pretty rough and she doesn’t expect this to change.
Which means she’s sort of earned that lip curl and my 12-year old, from whose (otherwise beautiful) face I stole it, has not.
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Image is from Subversive Cross Stitch, which I highly recommend for all your subversive (and NSFW, depending, of course, on what your W is) cross stitch needs.
Sometimes, it feels like nowhere is safe. I hope she can find her nest.
I hope so, too, Linda. 🙂
“Safe,” she said, her lip curling. “You say that like it’s a real thing.” I love that line! Another great snippet, Sarah! 🙂
Thanks Teresa! 🙂
Aw, poor thing! I feel for her, curled lip and all. (I have 12-year-old nieces so am also familiar with the unearned lip-curl)
I’m trying to make her annoying yet sympathetic, so throwing in some pre-teen traits seemed like the way to go. 😀
Oh I felt that tension! I feel for her, and I like how she senses Bryan is not being exactly truthful. Great job!
Thanks, Frank. 🙂
Actually, they’re both telling the truth as they see it . . . and they both may be right.
Heh, yes they are. You just have to get to the reasoning side of their brain…hard to do with all those hormones banging around. Great snippet, Sarah. 🙂
As far as I can tell, the reasoning side of their brains isn’t hooked up to long-term memory at all.
Thanks, Siobhan. 😀
Great snippet! You can really feel Tala’s unhappiness and frustration. And this– ““Safe,” she said, her lip curling. “You say that like it’s a real thing.””– was a perfect line. Good job!
Thanks, Amy! 🙂
I think she’s probably entitled to her skepticism re “safe”, based on your description of her backstory. Loved the snippet!
Yeah, she comes by it honestly and it’s going to be tough for her to switch gears.
Thanks, Veronica! 🙂
If she’s never had “safe,” I’m sure it’s hard to believe in. But she better learn to behave!
She will . . . for a given definition of behave. 🙂
If she doesn’t learn to behave she might find it not as safe as it could be. She may be due for an attitude adjustment. (And somehow I think that Mom Mahon is capable of giving it to her.)
True that, Paula! We’ll see how it goes. 🙂
For some people “safe” never existed. Poor Tala! I hope she realizes that she’s a lot safer here (though… she may be right).
True, Eden. And they’re both right . . . up to a point. 🙂
Super good snippet full of emotion.
Thanks, Charmaine. 🙂
A teenager with attitude. LOL. Imagine that. Nicely done.
I know, it’s difficult to picture, isn’t it? 😀
Thanks, Elaine.
Love, love that last line! It just brings home how she’s feeling. Poor Tala.
Thanks, Karen. Yeah, rough it actually normal for her, so normal is a bit frightening. 🙂
Safe, it’s such a vague term.
It is, Chelle. 🙂
This is a great exchange. Lots of energy & tension– and your last line is killer.
Thanks, Jeff! 🙂
A powerful last line. Way to knock someone back on his heels.
She knows what she knows, Mike. 🙂
Safe can be a state of mine, not just a physical place.
True, Carrie-Anne. 🙂