My fingernails are red now. A dark red that distracts me as I type and makes me feel . . . like someone who wears dark red nail polish.
I wonder who that person is . . .
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From the Quote Collection:
“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.”
— Lily Tomlin
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Sunny’s “Matzie Ball” Soup
Pre-prep: Contrive to have your spouse and MIL find frozen turkeys on sale for 99-cents a pound, buy the limit, fill the freezer, and defrost one out of necessity.
Roast the defrosted turkey for dinner—or better yet, finagle your MIL into doing it by working late—and carve in a manner that would not please the judges on Top Chef. Serve the massacred turkey for dinner, wrap leftovers, save carcass.
Eight to Ten hours Before Soup Time (BST): Stick carcass in soup pot and cover with water. Snap two carrots and a celery rib in four pieces each , chop an onion in quarters, slam some garlic with the flat of your favorite knife, toss it all in the pot. Throw in some oregano, garlic powder, rosemary, bay leaf, pepper and a squirt or two of Worcestershire sauce. Heat on high until boiling, cover, lower heat and simmer all day.
Two hours BST: Chop a couple of cleaned carrots, mince a peeled onion and a few cloves of peeled garlic, and thinly slice a celery rib. Drain the pot into a bowl through a colander or sieve. Swirl a tablespoon or two of oil in the pot and throw in everything you peeled and chopped. Put over medium heat and stir until the onion is soft and the kitchen smells terrific. Pour the stock back in the pot and simmer so the carrots get a chance to soften because the kids complain about firm cooked carrots.
Fifty Minutes BST: Read and follow the directions on the matzoh ball box,** but double the recipe and add oregano, garlic powder, and maybe a little pepper to taste – if you’ve never tasted this stuff before, teaspoon of the first two and a pinch of the pepper and adjust the next time. Chill for twenty minutes or so. Chop the leftover turkey into small pieces.
Thirty minutes BST: Add the chopped turkey to the pot, taste the soup, adjust the seasonings, bring to a boil. Take the Matzoh mixture out of the fridge, wet your hands (trust me, don’t skip this step), and roll the mixture into 2” balls, which is why you doubled the recipe, because small matzoh balls do not deliver as much happiness.
Drop each ball into the boiling soup as you make them and when you’re done, clap the lid on the pot , lower the heat, set the timer for twenty-five minutes and for the love of all that is next to godliness, wash your hands.
Five minutes BST: scoop out the largest matzoh ball, cut it in half to see if the texture is consistent all the way through (think wet dumpling, not rubber cement). Eat largest matzoh ball before calling family because who did all the work?
The Payoff: Serve soup, two matzies in each bowl – three if you’re feeding Sunny.
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People who steal DVDs and other items from the library*** will be working the Sisyphean shelves in the Hades Public Library.
Pass it on.
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My kids have discovered the Pink Panther cartoons – remember those? Apparently, there’s a new version, but that theme song is still one of a kind:
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*Sorry, Julia, last one, I swear.
**Save any soup mix for some bizarre set of circumstances that will call for yellow, chicken-flavored salt. Do not even think of adding that stuff to your turkey stock.
***Including people who check things out and keep them on purpose.
Earful of Cider 
“because small matzoh balls do not deliver as much happiness”. Ha!
My kids love Pink Panther and Tom and Jerry. Love them. It’s the only sign that we haven’t completely and utterly screwed them up.
It look a while for my kids to realize that Tom will never manage to hurt Jerry, but now they’re big fans. They also love Looney Tunes —especially Bugs and Elmer.
My son does, too. All the Looney Toons, but especially Bugs Bunny and that little Marsian guy. And the Tasmanian devil, who Everett does unfortunately try to imitate sometimes.
Marvin the Martian is my husband’s favorite. I like the roadrunner. Beep-Beep Zip BANG!
I have fingernail envy. Mine make me embarrassed to be seen in public.
People who steal from the library???? Yuck. I feel sick.
People not only steal from the library, they pawn the stuff.
An obscene amount of library book budget is used to replace stolen or damaged items.
Hey, thanks! I’ve only made it from the box — bad me. How come you didn’t need a step to skim off the fat?
Skimming or blotting is an optional step for those who remember to do it. 🙂
Plus, once I strained the exhausted bones and veggies out, there wasn’t much left to skim.
I use my spaghetti pot with the insert in it to make stock. Then all I have to do is pull the insert out. No straining. I freeze the extra stock in a muffin tin and then store the ‘hockey pucks’ in a ziplock bag. Pull them out whenever you need them.
Our library will occasionally get a package mailed to us with no return address. Usually it’s something we’ve withdrawn years ago. Sometimes the guilt wins out.
I have a pot insert, too — though I can never lay hands on it when it’s needed because Sunny considers it a drum. I’ve never frozen stock (leftover soups, yes, stock, no), because I don’t seem to think that far ahead with food — I make stock for an immediate purpose, and then it’s gone. I’ll try it with the next turkey!
Do your patrons turn in old books belonging to other, out of state libraries? We get a lot of those, what with all the college students, military, and employee transfers around here. We’ve learned to call before we send them back, in case they tell us not to bother —saves money on postage!
I’m in acquisitions, so I don’t see much of what comes to the circulation desk, just what we happen to open up in the mail room.
You’re lucky . . . 😉
1. Sarah! Lily Tomlin and the Pink Panther – thanks for the memories!.
Thanks for telling me I’m not alone in those memories! 🙂
I’ve always loved the Pink Panther theme, but not the show. In my defense, I am a hardcore fan of both Tom and Jerry and the Roadrunner. I actually like Wile E. Coyote, bless his heart. He’s smart; he really is. He’s just no match for his opponent.
I’ve never had or made matzoh ball soup, but I am always looking to add more recipes to my repertoire, as pasta does get a bit old. Thanks for this! XD
If the Coyote and the Roadrunner ever joined forces, they could rule the universe. . .