Random Thursday: Zombies and Monsters and Bad Jokes, Oh My!

It’s Random! It’s Thursday! It’s Random Thursday!

And there’s a certain Halloween tingle in the air, as if you broke into the candy you bought for the trick-or-treaters and absorbed so much sugar-boosted serotonin that your neurons are triple-firing and the whole world is vibrating around you . . . 

Oh.  Wait.

Yeah.

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Ironically, this is probably why all those zombies will be so desperate to find brains in the first place.

Generation Zombie

Just sayin’.

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How Many Vampires does it take to Change a Lightbulb?

Batty

None.

They like the dark.

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Frankenyummies!

Frankenyummy lineup

The unusual suspects . . .

Just take some vanilla pudding, a little food coloring, some tragically abused Oreo cookies,
a Watson, a Jane, and a Sunny.

Mix thoroughly, decant into plastic cups, and apply a permanent marker,
and you get a dessert that’s almost too weird to eat . . .

Frankenyummies

 . . . Almost.

.Frankenempties

oooooooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooooo

Better Watch Out

Made you look!

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Get This ( Halloween) Party Started

The amazing Dame Shirley Bassey,* ladies and gentlemen,
backed by the Broccoli-Saltzman James Bond Title  Song Dancers.
Apparently.

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Scariest Pumpkin Ever

First World Scare

Holy cow, Man—don’t do that!

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 Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

ghost bag

Because you can see right through them!

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This PSA Brought to You by the Horror Movie Association

“Safely raising heart rates since 1895 or so,** without all that bothersome exercise”

Remember kids—just say no to fresh air.

That stuff—or the stuff in that stuff—will kill you.

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Happy Halloween!

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*Yes, you know who she is, even if you don’t think you do.

**Not kidding—Thomas Edison filmed a 15 second snuff film that year that some think qualifies as the first ever horror film, though it was probably just meant to be a historical reinactment of the execution of Mary Stewart. The next year, movie magic had advanced to the point that the first definitely-on-purpose horror film could be made: Le Manoir du Diable.

Poetry Wednesday: The Goblins of Christina Rossetti

RosettiChristina Rossetti was an interesting woman.

The heir apparent of Elizabeth Barrett Browning—and rival for the hearts of Victorian critics—Christina was considered less artful in her work, a touch less literary in her allusions, but no less brilliant.

Mrs. Browning had her troubles, of course—most of them Robert Browning—but Ms. Rossetti was the poster child for tortured genius.

Given to tantrums—she once stabbed herself in the arm with a pair of scissors in a fit of rage—she was fourteen when she had her first nervous breakdown, possibly caused by stress over watching her bedridden father waste away.

She learned to control herself, funneling her passion through religious expression,* but went perhaps a bit too far the other way, keeping herself so contained and still, her friends and family missed her earlier spirit,   Combine this with the severe symptoms of Grave’s disease, which nearly killed her in her early forties before it was diagnosed, and breast cancer—which finally killed her in 1894—and it’s really no wonder that her outbursts of temper were replaced by periods of deep depression.

So, instead of burning with emotional fire,  her non-devotional poems are often—not always, but often—as cool and calm as a bleak landscape, or a body laying still in cold peace under a frost-edged layer of dead leaves.

But her best-known poem is one of the few exceptions to Ms. Rossetti’s usual tone—a narrative that expresses a personal understanding of temptation, danger, recklessness, despair, cravings, fear, and the risks we are willing to take to save our loved ones from from fading out of existence.

And of goblins.

Goblin Market
(Christina Rossetti)

Morning and evening
Maids heard the goblins cry:
“Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy:
Apples and quinces,
Lemons and oranges,
Plump unpeck’d cherries,
Melons and raspberries,
Bloom-down-cheek’d peaches,Fruit
Swart-headed mulberries,
Wild free-born cranberries,
Crab-apples, dewberries,
Pine-apples, blackberries,
Apricots, strawberries;—
All ripe together
In summer weather,—
Morns that pass by,
Fair eves that fly;
Come buy, come buy:
Our grapes fresh from the vine,
Pomegranates full and fine,
Dates and sharp bullaces,
Rare pears and greengages,
Damsons and bilberries,
Taste them and try:
Currants and gooseberries,
Bright-fire-like barberries,
Figs to fill your mouth,
Citrons from the South,
Sweet to tongue and sound to eye;
Come buy, come buy.”

Evening by evening
Among the brookside rushes,
Laura bow’d her head to hear,
Lizzie veil’d her blushes:
Crouching close together
In the cooling weather,
With clasping arms and cautioning lips,
With tingling cheeks and finger tips.
“Lie close,” Laura said,
Pricking up her golden head:
“We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?”
“Come buy,” call the goblinsPeach
Hobbling down the glen.

“Oh,” cried Lizzie, “Laura, Laura,
You should not peep at goblin men.”
Lizzie cover’d up her eyes,
Cover’d close lest they should look;
Laura rear’d her glossy head,
And whisper’d like the restless brook:
“Look, Lizzie, look, Lizzie,
Down the glen tramp little men.
One hauls a basket,
One bears a plate,
One lugs a golden dish
Of many pounds weight.
How fair the vine must grow
Whose grapes are so luscious;
How warm the wind must blow
Through those fruit bushes.”
“No,” said Lizzie, “No, no, no;
Their offers should not charm us,
Their evil gifts would harm us.”
She thrust a dimpled finger
In each ear, shut eyes and ran:
Curious Laura chose to linger
Wondering at each merchant man.
One had a cat’s face,
One whisk’d a tail,
One tramp’d at a rat’s pace,
One crawl’d like a snail,
One like a wombat prowl’d obtuse and furry,
One like a ratel tumbled hurry skurry.
She heard a voice like voice of doves
Cooing all together:
They sounded kind and full of loves
In the pleasant weather.

Laura stretch’d her gleaming neck
Like a rush-imbedded swan,
Like a lily from the beck,
Like a moonlit poplar branch,
Like a vessel at the launch
When its last restraint is gone.

Backwards up the mossy glen
Turn’d and troop’d the goblin men,
With their shrill repeated cry,
“Come buy, come buy.”
When they reach’d where Laura wasElf
They stood stock still upon the moss,
Leering at each other,
Brother with queer brother;
Signalling each other,
Brother with sly brother.
One set his basket down,
One rear’d his plate;
One began to weave a crown
Of tendrils, leaves, and rough nuts brown
(Men sell not such in any town);
One heav’d the golden weight
Of dish and fruit to offer her:
“Come buy, come buy,” was still their cry.
Laura stared but did not stir,
Long’d but had no money:
The whisk-tail’d merchant bade her taste
In tones as smooth as honey,
The cat-faced purr’d,
The rat-faced spoke a word
Of welcome, and the snail-paced even was heard;
One parrot-voiced and jolly
Cried “Pretty Goblin” still for “Pretty Polly;”—
One whistled like a bird.

But sweet-tooth Laura spoke in haste:
“Good folk, I have no coin;
To take were to purloin:
I have no copper in my purse,
I have no silver either,
And all my gold is on the furze
That shakes in windy weather
Above the rusty heather.”
“You have much gold upon your head,”
They answer’d all together:
“Buy from us with a golden curl.”
She clipp’d a precious golden lock,
She dropp’d a tear more rare than pearl,
Then suck’d their fruit globes fair or red:
Sweeter than honey from the rock,
Stronger than man-rejoicing wine,
Clearer than water flow’d that juice;
She never tasted such before,
How should it cloy with length of use?
She suck’d and suck’d and suck’d the more
Fruits which that unknown orchard bore;
She suck’d until her lips were sore;
Then flung the emptied rinds away
But gather’d up one kernel stone,
And knew not was it night or day
As she turn’d home alone.

Lizzie met her at the gate
Full of wise upbraidings:
“Dear, you should not stay so late,
Twilight is not good for maidens;
Should not loiter in the glen
In the haunts of goblin men.
Do you not remember Jeanie,
How she met them in the moonlight,
Took their gifts both choice and many,
Ate their fruits and wore their flowers
Pluck’d from bowers
Where summer ripens at all hours?
But ever in the noonlight
She pined and pined away;
Sought them by night and day,
Found them no more, but dwindled and grew grey;
Then fell with the first snow,
While to this day no grass will grow
Where she lies low:
I planted daisies there a year ago
That never blow.
You should not loiter so.”
“Nay, hush,” said Laura:
“Nay, hush, my sister:
I ate and ate my fill,
Yet my mouth waters still;
To-morrow night I will
Buy more;” and kiss’d her:
“Have done with sorrow;
I’ll bring you plums to-morrow
Fresh on their mother twigs,
Cherries worth getting;
You cannot think what figs
My teeth have met in,
What melons icy-cold
Piled on a dish of gold
Too huge for me to hold,
What peaches with a velvet nap,
Pellucid grapes without one seed:
Odorous indeed must be the mead
Whereon they grow, and pure the wave they drink
With lilies at the brink,
And sugar-sweet their sap.”

Golden head by golden head,
Like two pigeons in one nest
Folded in each other’s wings,
They lay down in their curtain’d bed:
Like two blossoms on one stem,
Like two flakes of new-fall’n snow,
Like two wands of ivory
Rossetti was interested in figures locked in e... Tipp’d with gold for awful kings.
Moon and stars gaz’d in at them,
Wind sang to them lullaby,
Lumbering owls forbore to fly,
Not a bat flapp’d to and fro
Round their rest:
Cheek to cheek and breast to breast
Lock’d together in one nest.

Early in the morning
When the first cock crow’d his warning,
Neat like bees, as sweet and busy,
Laura rose with Lizzie:
Fetch’d in honey, milk’d the cows,
Air’d and set to rights the house,
Kneaded cakes of whitest wheat,
Cakes for dainty mouths to eat,
Next churn’d butter, whipp’d up cream,
Fed their poultry, sat and sew’d;
Talk’d as modest maidens should:
Lizzie with an open heart,
Laura in an absent dream,
One content, one sick in part;
One warbling for the mere bright day’s delight,
One longing for the night.

At length slow evening came:
They went with pitchers to the reedy brook;
Lizzie most placid in her look,
Laura most like a leaping flame.
They drew the gurgling water from its deep;
Lizzie pluck’d purple and rich golden flags,
Then turning homeward said: “The sunset flushes
Those furthest loftiest crags;
Come, Laura, not another maiden lags.
No wilful squirrel wags,
The beasts and birds are fast asleep.”
But Laura loiter’d still among the rushes
And said the bank was steep.

And said the hour was early still
The dew not fall’n, the wind not chill;
Listening ever, but not catching
The customary cry,
“Come buy, come buy,”
With its iterated jingle
Of sugar-baited words:
Not for all her watching
Once discerning even one goblin
Racing, whisking, tumbling, hobbling;
Let alone the herds
That used to tramp along the glen,
In groups or single,
Of brisk fruit-merchant men.

Till Lizzie urged, “O Laura, come;
I hear the fruit-call but I dare not look:
You should not loiter longer at this brook:Forgotten Graveyard
Come with me home.
The stars rise, the moon bends her arc,
Each glowworm winks her spark,
Let us get home before the night grows dark:
For clouds may gather
Though this is summer weather,
Put out the lights and drench us through;
Then if we lost our way what should we do?”

Laura turn’d cold as stone
To find her sister heard that cry alone,
That goblin cry,
“Come buy our fruits, come buy.”
Must she then buy no more such dainty fruit?
Must she no more such succous pasture find,
Gone deaf and blind?
Her tree of life droop’d from the root:
She said not one word in her heart’s sore ache;
But peering thro’ the dimness, nought discerning,
Trudg’d home, her pitcher dripping all the way;
So crept to bed, and lay
Silent till Lizzie slept;
Then sat up in a passionate yearning,
And gnash’d her teeth for baulk’d desire, and wept
As if her heart would break.

Day after day, night after night,
Laura kept watch in vain
In sullen silence of exceeding pain.
She never caught again the goblin cry:
“Come buy, come buy;”—
She never spied the goblin men
Hawking their fruits along the glen:
But when the noon wax’d brightRotten fruit
Her hair grew thin and grey;
She dwindled, as the fair full moon doth turn
To swift decay and burn
Her fire away.

One day remembering her kernel-stone
She set it by a wall that faced the south;
Dew’d it with tears, hoped for a root,
Watch’d for a waxing shoot,
But there came none;
It never saw the sun,
It never felt the trickling moisture run:
While with sunk eyes and faded mouth
She dream’d of melons, as a traveller sees
False waves in desert drouth
With shade of leaf-crown’d trees,
And burns the thirstier in the sandful breeze.

She no more swept the house,
Tended the fowls or cows,
Fetch’d honey, kneaded cakes of wheat,
Brought water from the brook:
But sat down listless in the chimney-nook
And would not eat.

Tender Lizzie could not bear
To watch her sister’s cankerous care
Yet not to share.
She night and morning
Caught the goblins’ cry:
“Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy;”—
Beside the brook, along the glen,
She heard the tramp of goblin men,
The yoke and stir
Poor Laura could not hear;
Long’d to buy fruit to comfort her,
But fear’d to pay too dear.
She thought of Jeanie in her grave,
Who should have been a bride;
But who for joys brides hope to have
Fell sick and died
In her gay prime,
In earliest winter time
With the first glazing rime,
With the first snow-fall of crisp winter time.

Till Laura dwindling
Seem’d knocking at Death’s door:Rackham goblin market
Then Lizzie weigh’d no more
Better and worse;
But put a silver penny in her purse,
Kiss’d Laura, cross’d the heath with clumps of furze
At twilight, halted by the brook:
And for the first time in her life
Began to listen and look.

Laugh’d every goblin
When they spied her peeping:
Came towards her hobbling,
Flying, running, leaping,
Puffing and blowing,
Chuckling, clapping, crowing,
Clucking and gobbling,
Mopping and mowing,
Full of airs and graces,
Pulling wry faces,
Demure grimaces,
Cat-like and rat-like,
Ratel- and wombat-like,
Snail-paced in a hurry,
Parrot-voiced and whistler,
Helter skelter, hurry skurry,
Chattering like magpies,
Fluttering like pigeons,
Gliding like fishes,—
Hugg’d her and kiss’d her:
Squeez’d and caress’d her:
Stretch’d up their dishes,
Panniers, and plates:
“Look at our apples
Russet and dun,
Bob at our cherries,
Bite at our peaches,
Citrons and dates,
Grapes for the asking,
Pears red with basking
Out in the sun,
Plums on their twigs;
Pluck them and suck them,
Pomegranates, figs.”—Goblin Toadstool

“Good folk,” said Lizzie,
Mindful of Jeanie:
“Give me much and many: —
Held out her apron,
Toss’d them her penny.
“Nay, take a seat with us,
Honour and eat with us,”
They answer’d grinning:
“Our feast is but beginning.
Night yet is early,
Warm and dew-pearly,
Wakeful and starry:
Such fruits as these
No man can carry:
Half their bloom would fly,
Half their dew would dry,
Half their flavour would pass by.
Sit down and feast with us,
Be welcome guest with us,
Cheer you and rest with us.”—
“Thank you,” said Lizzie: “But one waits
At home alone for me:
So without further parleying,
If you will not sell me any
Of your fruits though much and many,
Give me back my silver penny
I toss’d you for a fee.”—
They began to scratch their pates,
No longer wagging, purring,
But visibly demurring,
Grunting and snarling.
One call’d her proud,
Cross-grain’d, uncivil;
Their tones wax’d loud,
Their looks were evil.
Lashing their tails
They trod and hustled her,
Elbow’d and jostled her,
Claw’d with their nails,
Barking, mewing, hissing, mocking,
Tore her gown and soil’d her stocking,
Twitch’d her hair out by the roots,
Stamp’d upon her tender feet,
Held her hands and squeez’d their fruits
Against her mouth to make her eat.

White and golden Lizzie stood,
Like a lily in a flood,—
Like a rock of blue-vein’d stone
Lash’d by tides obstreperously,—
Like a beacon left alone
In a hoary roaring sea,
Sending up a golden fire,—
Like a fruit-crown’d orange-tree
White with blossoms honey-sweet
Sore beset by wasp and bee,—
Like a royal virgin town
Topp’d with gilded dome and spire
Close beleaguer’d by a fleet
Mad to tug her standard down.

One may lead a horse to water,
Twenty cannot make him drink.
Though the goblins cuff’d and caught her,
Coax’d and fought her,
Bullied and besought her,Goblin Brawl
Scratch’d her, pinch’d her black as ink,
Kick’d and knock’d her,
Maul’d and mock’d her,
Lizzie utter’d not a word;
Would not open lip from lip
Lest they should cram a mouthful in:
But laugh’d in heart to feel the drip
Of juice that syrupp’d all her face,
And lodg’d in dimples of her chin,
And streak’d her neck which quaked like curd.
At last the evil people,
Worn out by her resistance,
Flung back her penny, kick’d their fruit
Along whichever road they took,
Not leaving root or stone or shoot;
Some writh’d into the ground,
Some div’d into the brook
With ring and ripple,
Some scudded on the gale without a sound,
Some vanish’d in the distance.

In a smart, ache, tingle,
Lizzie went her way;
Knew not was it night or day;
Sprang up the bank, tore thro’ the furze,
Threaded copse and dingle,
And heard her penny jingle
Bouncing in her purse,—
Its bounce was music to her ear.
She ran and ran
As if she fear’d some goblin man
Dogg’d her with gibe or curse
Or something worse:
But not one goblin scurried after,
Nor was she prick’d by fear;
The kind heart made her windy-paced
That urged her home quite out of breath with haste
And inward laughter.

She cried, “Laura,” up the garden,
“Did you miss me?
Come and kiss me.
Never mind my bruises,
Hug me, kiss me, suck my juicesGrief and comfort
Squeez’d from goblin fruits for you,
Goblin pulp and goblin dew.
Eat me, drink me, love me;
Laura, make much of me;
For your sake I have braved the glen
And had to do with goblin merchant men.”

Laura started from her chair,
Flung her arms up in the air,
Clutch’d her hair:
“Lizzie, Lizzie, have you tasted
For my sake the fruit forbidden?
Must your light like mine be hidden,
Your young life like mine be wasted,
Undone in mine undoing,
And ruin’d in my ruin,
Thirsty, canker’d, goblin-ridden?”—
She clung about her sister,
Kiss’d and kiss’d and kiss’d her:
Tears once again
Refresh’d her shrunken eyes,
Dropping like rain
After long sultry drouth;
Shaking with aguish fear, and pain,
She kiss’d and kiss’d her with a hungry mouth.

Her lips began to scorch,
That juice was wormwood to her tongue,
She loath’d the feast:
Writhing as one possess’d she leap’d and sung,
Rent all her robe, and wrung
Her hands in lamentable haste,
And beat her breast.
Her locks stream’d like the torch
Borne by a racer at full speed,
Or like the mane of horses in their flight,
Or like an eagle when she stems the light
Straight toward the sun,
Or like a caged thing freed,
Or like a flying flag when armies run.

Swift fire spread through her veins, knock’d at her heart,
Met the fire smouldering there
And overbore its lesser flame;
She gorged on bitterness without a name:
Ah! fool, to choose such part
Of soul-consuming care!
Sense fail’d in the mortal strife:
Like the watch-tower of a town
Which an earthquake shatters down,
Like a lightning-stricken mast,
Like a wind-uprooted tree
Spun about,
Like a foam-topp’d waterspout
Cast down headlong in the sea,
She fell at last;
Pleasure past and anguish past,
Is it death or is it life?

Life out of death.
That night long Lizzie watch’d by her,
Counted her pulse’s flagging stir,
Felt for her breath,
Held water to her lips, and cool’d her face
With tears and fanning leaves:
But when the first birds chirp’d about their eaves,
And early reapers plodded to the place
Of golden sheaves,
And dew-wet grass
Bow’d in the morning winds so brisk to pass,
And new buds with new day
Open’d of cup-like lilies on the stream,
Laura awoke as from a dream,
Laugh’d in the innocent old way,
Hugg’d Lizzie but not twice or thrice;
Her gleaming locks show’d not one thread of grey,
Her breath was sweet as May
And light danced in her eyes.

Days, weeks, months, years
Afterwards, when both were wives
With children of their own;
Their mother-hearts beset with fears,
Their lives bound up in tender lives;Sisters
Laura would call the little ones
And tell them of her early prime,
Those pleasant days long gone
Of not-returning time:
Would talk about the haunted glen,
The wicked, quaint fruit-merchant men,
Their fruits like honey to the throat
But poison in the blood;
(Men sell not such in any town):
Would tell them how her sister stood
In deadly peril to do her good,
And win the fiery antidote:
Then joining hands to little hands
Would bid them cling together,
“For there is no friend like a sister
In calm or stormy weather;
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands.”

According to scholars, there are feminist themes and gender politics and religious morals and all kinds of other stuff in here.

And that may be true.

But it’s also a damn good story, especially for Halloween week.

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*Her family, originally Evangelical, embraced Anglo-Catholicism when Christina was small and she took to it in a big way.  Most of her poetry is devotional—and she refused at least one suitor on the grounds that he preferred Roman Catholicism—or that was her excuse.  Frankly, he sounded like a dud, anyway.

Nanowrimo: Yesno?

Nanowrimo Crest

What do you mean, National Novel Writing Month starts this Friday?!

I knew it was coming up, because of the e-mails and because Alexandra Sokoloff has been posting her excellent Nanowrimo prep-work articles all month (start here), and because I did notice that it’s October—the kids have made it hyperactively clear that Halloween is imminent—and I do know that November follows October . . . but I guess I didn’t realize it would be following so quickly this year.

I’ve done some prep-work—Alex is inspiring that way, and heaven knows it couldn’t hurt, regardless—but I’m not sure I’m going to sign up this year.  Time is even tighter than usual for several reasons and I’m already in the middle of a fun writing project.  I’m not sure if I want to rush it through, but stopping for a month to pick up something else sounds like an even worse idea.

Maybe I’ll do an unofficial, unregistered half-Nano . . . 830ish words a day sounds a lot more doable.

However, for all of you who are committed to or considering taking the pledge to write 50,000 words in 30 days—or for those of you who are committed to writing something this month, or even those who plan to take it easy and get through your reading pile, or at least catch up on Agents of Shield or Game of Thrones or Doctor Who or whatever’s clogging up your DVR*—here’s a handy-dandy chart to help you work out a superquick outline of elements for your story, and/or analyze the heck out of whatever you’re reading or watching.

If you don’t end up poring over every single square for an hour or two . . .

(Click the image to get to an image you can enlarge. I hope)
Periodic-table-of-storytelling-infographic

 Seriously–anyone interested in that half-Nano thing?

_________________________

*Or for those of you who landed here because you’re studying Alistair MacLeod’s “In the Fall“—as several of you apparently are—and either think this blog is a legit source or were told to find five dubious Internet sources.  Either way, thanks for the extra stats!

Happy Birthday, Watson!

Watson's Birthday2

Happy birthday to my sister-in-law, who arrived with her ginormous Swiss Mountain Dogosaurus a couple Februarys ago for a short visit and—like the modern, flip-side combo of Mary Poppins, Mervyn Bunter, Jarvis,  Archy, with a touch of Jensen, and possibly Roque—has been wrangling, feeding, driving, guest-posting, co-conspiring, geeking, shopping, listening, vaudevilling, tutoring, and seeing to the cinematic deficit of the household ever since.

Simply put, you’re the awesome m’dear, and I wouldn’t want to confuse the neighborhood’s (or blogosphere’s) idea of our family dynamic with anyone else but you.

And seriously put, may this coming year be everything you need it to be.


(‘hitting twenty’ may be stretching poetic license a touch for us, but screw it, the rest works)

Weekend Writing Warriors: The Anti-Cupids (Maintenance Policies )

We WriWa bannerHave a WIP, an EIP, an MS, or a published work you want to share on your blog, eight sentences at a time?

Want to sample other people’s WIPs, EIPs, MSs, or published works, eight sentences at a time?

Be a Weekend Writing Warrior!

Rules are here!

List of participants is here!

________________________

I’m skipping ahead a few paragraphs so Jack can compare his opinion of Kirsten—our bridezilla—to his first impression of Viv, our severely caffeine-deprived heroine:

Wicker Laundry Basket - Storage - Home Accessories

Viv took a third piece of cake, leaned back, and appeared to be studying Bibi, though it was possible she’d dozed off behind her glasses.

He didn’t have sunglasses, so Jack staved off a yawn and did a little idle study of his own.  If someone had challenged him to pick Kirsten’s sister out of a lineup, he wouldn’t have chosen the woman next to him.

Kirsten was an ingénue type, with hair down to there, legs up to here, a swan-like neck, and the fashion sense to make it all look even better.  She was as lovely as an advertisement for flowered sundresses, and deceptively, relentlessly high-maintenance.

Viv’s hair was a light brown mass of springs and cowlicks, and the layered outfit that encased her from walking boots and ankle-length skirt to oxford-covered crew neck looked like she’d assembled it quickly out of a basket of unfolded laundry.  

So either she was low-maintenance or not looking to be maintained. 

Or, he thought, hungover.

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She’s not hungover no, but the laundry was a good guess.

I don’t know enough, yet, to comment on Viv’s maintenance levels—but I’m fairly certain it would tick her off if she found out someone was trying to judge them.

And look, I finally found a relevant image that wasn’t cake!  Oddly enough, it doesn’t make me want to do laundry . . .

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non-cake photo credit: Wickerfurniture